Today started out like any other day, woke up to sunshine, did my 15 minute morning lifts, crunches etc! Got up , had a shower, a day like many others, so why when I went for breakfast, did I have this urge to just stuff myself with food,had a bowl of cereal, some fruit, still hungry, made a slice of toast, had some tea, still wanted something! What's the matter?? I just got myself right out of that kitchen, grabbed my walker and went for a walk around the neighborhood, met some neighbors and had a nice chat, then continued on, well the mood did not dispel, it changed into something else, I was watching people older than me so agile, walking unaided, no cane, no walker, then the regrets started in my mind, if I had only listened and got this weight off, if I had only exercised more, all the~ what ifs~ running around in my head!
Why am I having this kind of day? I wake everyday to pain so that is nothing new, I realize all the things I should have done, thought I made peace with that! I am trying to make things better, it is a slow process, but nevertheless it is process! I am no miracle worker lol!
I think as I am venting this out, I do indeed have anger toward myself for allowing things to get so out of hand...2 knee replacements, a pending shoulder replacement, bad feet, spinal stenouses, diabetes, kidney disease..what was I thinking, why did I let things go so? My head was buried so deep in the sand!
I should be grateful that I am still here, trying to regain some health back, I wrote this blog so others in my predicament will take action before it gets to my stage, there is nothing in this world more important than ones health, without it you are " up a creek without a paddle"
Trying to bring more health to my body is now a very painful thing, but I refuse to give up, I pray everyday that God gives me the strength to follow through!
Well I'm glad I got all that off my chest, hope my day goes better, and I settle down..time to do more, TNT....