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Wednesday, July 31 Back to School today

Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Hi all,

I woke up at 2:30 and have nothing on my mind, except maybe the end of my summer break. I went to school for about 5 hours yesterday and my room is a big mess right now. I cannot move boxes and things by myself, so I muddled around doing a little of this and a little of that, accomplishing nothing significant. I am going to need a lot of help and quite honestly, I really, really hate that. I like to take care of my own needs and I just can't quite get past that independence.

Here's the bigger problem, I almost fell trying to crawl around all of the things the custodians moved to clean the carpet and wax the tile part of the floor. I caught myself at the last moment and stayed upright at the expense of my shoulder to a point. It was tricky, because I had a moment to make the choice to use my arm or not. I decided that it would have hurt me more to fall all the way rather than to use my arm. Not a nice choice by any stretch of the imagination. Tomorrow will be a work day for us, so I hope to get some of my kids in to help me with my room and the mess.

I fell asleep without finishing my dinner last night when my pain finally got a bit more controlled, but as soon as the meds wore off, I was wide awake and in trouble again. I haven't had this level of pain in a long time and I really hate it, waking up in agony is not a good way to manage anything. Physical therapy leaves me hurting more than not--although the therapist I have is the guy in charge and he is so proud of the fact that my arm goes all of the way to 100 right now. I wonder if he needs to understand that it is torturing me. I can bite my lip and get through it, but should I be doing that?

It's week is going to be tough, but I know I'll muddle through. I just didn't expect this level of turmoil. I was expecting a new world that left me a lot more independent and pain-free. I have a ways to go for all of that.

Meetings today, then I have to leave early for my annual cardiologist visit. It's has been a waste of time for the last three years, because he cannot find anything that I really need. However, since I had congestive heart failure in 2005-06, he insists on these appointments.

Take care today... So much to get done in my world, that I need you to take a break for me both physically nd emotionally!

Gentle hugs,
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • _LINDA
    Wish I could be there to help out!!
    A physiotherapist won't know how much you are hurting unless you tell them about it. Just being stoic isn't helping. There can be a fair bit of hurt involved in the stretching and recovering of the joint's movement (don't I know it) but this sounds like its over the top. Tell him it hurts like heck and that your pain meds can't even touch it. My physiotherapist seemed to have a death grip on the sore spot in my shoulder today, but if it had become unbearable I would have let her know. As it is my shoulder moved much more freely after and while sore, did feel better. She gave me this spray that made it feel better for a while too.
    Re the cardiologist, better safe then sorry if he spots something new. think of it like a regular physical.
    Take care of you and never be afraid to speak up about what you are thinking to your health care professionals, they are not mind readers.
    {{{gentle hugs}}}
    1572 days ago
    1573 days ago
    I hope that things calm down soon. I would make sense to me to have the rooms cleaned and back in shape before they start school. Not expect the teachers and students to clean up the mess.

    I hope your pain level is more controllable soon. It's a shame you have to return to work before your therapy is done.
    1573 days ago
    I've heard meditative practice can ease chronic pain. Definitely tell your PT how you feel.
    1573 days ago
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