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Setting Boundaries

Tuesday, July 30, 2013

I used to consider my go with the flow nature one of my assets and now I am rethinking that. I think it is to a degree, but there is a fine line between "go with the flow" and just not having any boundaries and discipline to set a plan for myself and stick with it.

I guess what I mean is that often when I get into different relationships with people whether it is a friendship or a romantic relationship or whatever, i tend to just let the other persons schedule/plans/desires dictate how things will go. I say to myself, "well it doesn't matter to me, I am flexible" But it actually does matter. Because my success with my health, my finances etc are met when I have a routine. And I am doing myself a disservice by changing my routine to accommodate other people.

It is perfectly ok to say no and work plans around my schedule. I noticed that I gained a lot of my weigh back when I ended up with a boyfriend. As great as that is that i have a companion, I also noticed that I got comfortable blowing off my morning workouts when he would come over after his graveyard shift. I got comfortable eating out instead of my planned meals. I got comfortable spending weekends tucked in watching movies instead of getting out and doing activities. That is no good. I can enjoy all those things, but I have to set my boundaries and keep my routines and schedules and find balance for my various relationships.

From here on I am planning on making a schedule and protecting it and making sure I have ample time for my relationships to thrive also.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I bet if you look at the people who are most successful, they know to turn people down or schedule things around their workouts and just to expand that, around their own needs/life. My SIL, for example...she goes to the gym every day after work and gets home around 7:30-8. It doesn't matter if we're over for dinner, we wait for her. It doesn't matter if we make plans with them...she joins us when she's done. Even when she comes home, we might be over, but instead of sitting and chatting she'll go to the kitchen and get her meals ready for the next day. Me? I'd be coming home if there was company and plan on making up that workout the next morning (never happens), or I'd be visiting with people and not prep meals and probably eat out the next day. Come hell or high water, she goes to the gym and everyone else can basically sit and wait for her. I'm sure its the same attitude we take with laundry, cleaning, making dinner, etc...how many times do you cut a workout short because you want to go home and wash dishes, do a load of laundry, etc.? I know that the hardest thing for me is to not only take the time to work out, but to actually FOCUS during my workout and feel relaxed about spending that time instead of thinking of the 20 min drive back and forth, the laundry that needs to get done, the dogs that need to be let out, etc. I guess that's something we both need to work on!
    1692 days ago
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