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    TIME2BLOOM4ME   141,867
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UGGGGG, Sigh. An honest Inventory of Self.

Tuesday, July 30, 2013



UGGGG - Darn it. This is not a whining blog, but a personal planning blog. While I keep trying REALLY HARD to meet my goals. Activity has been a struggle since February when my strength and energy crashed taking a big time nose dive.



The MS was acting up badly enough that I wasn't able to do much of anything other than sit in the recliner or nap. It wasn't that I didn't want to move, it was that I could barely move. The muscles were not getting the message to move from the nerves. I could barely stand up for 5 minutes at a time. My legs were so weak they would lock at the knees so I wouldn't fall down. I had no control over that so I was lifting my hips to take a step each time which is really exhausting. My arms were twisting like they wanted to become contracted. It was a super scary many months this year of being ill.



Since going to the local Healing Room the last 4 weeks I think, I have been seeing significant improvements in my strength. While it might not seem like much, I can now walk with better balance and leg strength. I don't have to hold on to the walls anymore. It's not as much strength as I was used to but it's much better than it has been. My legs feel stronger like they can hold up my body weight now. Its enough strength to do house cleaning, juicing today, and a small amount of exercise, but not much more. My arms also lost a lot of strength over the last few months.



The last two weeks I have worked out almost everyday. I started with short 5-10 minute workouts. I would do squats brushing my teeth or cooking to try to strengthen the legs or march in place. That's all I could do. I haven't been able to keep track of my step attempt as my Fitbit broke again.



In the beginning when I would try to workout even for 5 minutes at a time, my body would shut down. It was to the point I could barely move my arms or walk, my face muscles would droop like I had a stroke. I had no choice other than to take a nap as severe exhaustion would hit.



Gradually I have been adding in another 5 minutes here and there as I improved. Yesterday and today I managed to get in 30 minutes, doing it bit by bit in 5 -10 minute intervals. I figure if my husband can get results with resistance bands taking frequent breaks because he wants to vs. has to so CAN I.



My workouts take me all day to complete them, but I keep plugging away a bit at a time. I AM DETERMINED no matter how challenged I am to keep working out.



Most days I take a nap still, but my alertness is improving and cognitive fog is a bit decreased. My energy has been improving so I can stay up until about 9pm instead of going to bed around 6 pm. LOL. That was so sad.



The only thing I can account for the improvements is going to the church healing room as I haven't taken anything differently. I plan on continuing to go as each week there is a slight improvement. They say its like peeling an onion, going deeper and deeper with their prayers. My cat was sick with dirty looking fur like she was coming down with the liver issues again. After prayers she became her usual self again. I put my husband down on my own prayer list also. He has been drinking less, much less !!! His personality has improved to where he is his old usual cheerful self again. Honestly the only thing I can think of is it is the prayers being said in the healing room. (DH does not believe in it, but I know he sees the improvements in me.)

Today I pulled out a tape measure. It was rather shocking. It's so gross. I gained 3 inches in my chest and hips. I haven't measured the rest of me. No wonder my shorts and tops are fitting poorly. I am resisting the need to purchase larger ones as the funds are not there. My eating didn't get worse or really change much over the last few months, it was the lack of mobility. Most of the weight gain came after taking antibiotics which I know can affect it. My weight went up.



To ensure changes I am monitoring everything that goes into my mouth and using the calorie counter. My plans are to continue juicing. I slowed down a bit the last couple of months. DH is agreeing to help pay for the produce so that will help. I am trying to eat as much fresh produce as possible. My wheat grass needs to be replanted. It's been so hot here it has mostly died out. I don't know how much luck I will have growing it inside the house in front of a window. The plan is to keep the calories within range. If possible I would like to alternate with a lower calorie day and normal calorie day like in the alternative day diet.

I am working out as much as my body allows. It's super tough as I am extremely weak even with my improvements.



I have been doing Barre workouts as they intensely workout the quads, hamstrings, and glutes in many different positions. The other workout I have been doing lately is Tracy Anderson's Pregnancy workout DVD series, month 9. Why month 9? Am I pregnant? No. It's the easiest of her workouts to start with for someone who is recovering. In the beginning I made it through the arm segment before having to stop for the day. Now I am up to doing 30 minutes of her workout with several breaks. It again triggers the muscles to work by making them move in totally unusual positions. I only use 2 pound weights, but If I could find my one pound ones I probably would be better off using them. The workout modifies her moves by using a chair for balance. Many of her moves are done standing or using a chair to make the moves more doable for me. Her floor work has about 20 reps. which again is much more manageable for me. I still have yet to complete the full workout as it runs around 40 minutes. The other workouts I do is rebounding and a indoor exercise bike, but not all on one day.



I need the Bioness still to help me go on walks. The total cost for the device for both legs was about $ 16,000+. I put the left quad unit on my credit card. GASP. I know the payments will be terrible, but it will make a big difference in me being able to go for walks safely outside. I was able to raise $90.00 in donations towards the cost.

My husband who kept changing his mind about helping me pay for it decided to come through. He sent the company a check to pay for the other leg. My hope is when it starts cooling down outside to be able to go for walks again regularly. Until then once the device is programed I will use it to help me around the house and on my workouts. It will help the muscles get the messages from the nerves which in turn will help to reverse the atrophy caused by the MS. The company still has to come and program the units, so until they come they sit on the couch in there cases. It gives me more hopes in keeping my mobility.

Hopefully with an accurate accounting of my eating the weight loss will happen. I am not as active as I wish I could be. I do miss the days when moving was effortless. If I am hoping that I can improve to that point again at least for a 3-4 mile walk. Maybe by winter time I can achieve that goal.



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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GEORGE815 8/3/2013 9:57AM

    Keep at it!

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2BDYNAMIC 8/2/2013 10:03PM

    Hi--I just joined a team you are on ......... juicing ............ Hope to get acquainted ........ and wonder if the juicing helps ........... wish you well and what a good spirit! ........... emoticon

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KIPPER15 8/2/2013 7:11PM

    As the one poster says, progress is progress. You are living proof. emoticon

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ENG_TV 8/1/2013 10:25PM

    You seem like a strong person. Keep the faith and change will happen!

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SWEETSOUNDS11 8/1/2013 8:13PM

    You really rise to meet your challenges. What an amazing can do spirit you have!

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RIBKNIT 8/1/2013 2:35PM

    Thank you for the wonderful blog. You have given me some extra insight into what my sister with MS must be dealing with. I applaud you on your journey, and on your faith.

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HEALTHYNEWPAIGE 8/1/2013 2:08PM

    emoticon emoticon Glad things are looking up for you even though it seems like one step forward and two backward. Keep at it! Also thanks for all the wonderful visuals. Where do you find all of them? emoticon

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CPD623 8/1/2013 9:39AM

    Congrats on sticking to it. Good luck with the devices, they sound like they will really help you.

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LANNIEMANUEL 8/1/2013 6:59AM

    emoticon so good to hear that you are pushing through.

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ERCELLAJS 7/31/2013 11:54PM

    emoticon Blog. emoticon

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PATRICIAAK 7/31/2013 10:30PM

    Remember a day at a time. Step by step leads to succeess.

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INFLATED 7/31/2013 10:16PM

    You ought to be a motivational speaker and get paid for it. I am able-bodied, with some things wrong, but I am a slacker. I admire your determination.

I have started eating more raw foods. I don't juice but blend greens and fruit into a shake of sorts. It has helped lose weight.

I am glad to see you post what God is doing in your life.

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KING_SLAYER 7/31/2013 9:24PM

    Keep pushing! Praying for you :)

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MRSKATEDUVALL 7/31/2013 5:48PM

    You are such an inspiration, to keep plugging along, finding ways to fight the fight.

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GRANNY2B2 7/31/2013 3:01PM

    emoticon

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PEZMOM1 7/31/2013 11:41AM

    emoticon

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SOFT_VAL67 7/31/2013 10:45AM

    thanks again for the inspiration emoticon

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KNYAGENYA 7/31/2013 10:37AM

    emoticon

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NATPLUMMER 7/31/2013 10:36AM

    emoticon

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ANGELBELIEVER 7/31/2013 9:56AM

    You are one of the most motivated people I have ever meet who continues to work through their challenges. I'll be honest,I have my own challenges like being able to breathe with my COPD. I know what it's like to not have energy, but at least my body will move when I tell it to and I don't have the muscle pain you have. I do have scoliosis, herniated discs in my back and neck, arthritis though out my body and I notice it in my hips quite a bit. I also have fibromyalgia, but luckily my flares aren't very often. I have difficulty getting enough strength to clean, and it takes me a while as well. I do one or two rooms a week. I have increased my Curves work out to 4 or 5 days a week starting last week. Today I go and do the Zumba class. Do I keep up with the steps? No, but I have fun and just keep moving and doing what I can do. I do my breathing machine treatment before I go.

You will continue to be in my prayers daily. I know none of us would get through our challenges with out the Lord. There is no where we can go that He is not with us. That is so comforting.

Love you my friend. emoticon

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FARRAH511 7/31/2013 9:17AM

    emoticon emoticon

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PATTYKLAVER 7/31/2013 9:03AM

    I admire your courage and determination. I'm glad that you are involved with a church that has a healing room. I firmly believe that it lifts our spirits and improves our lives.

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BRENDA_G50 7/31/2013 8:33AM

    You are absolutely emoticon !!! I don't know if I could stay as motivated and positive if I were in your shoes. You have inspire me to be more grateful for what I'm able to do instead of being negative for what I can't do. Keep up the great work!!! My prayers are with you. emoticon

emoticon

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TONYAB2000 7/31/2013 8:29AM

    emoticon You are doing so great! Instead of letting your illness define and defeat you, you are defining and overcoming it. That is amazing and I'm so proud of all your hard work. Prayers always help. I will pray for you as well. Keep going. You are doing great!

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NEVERORNOW 7/31/2013 8:19AM

    Prayers and determination are a winning combination! Keep up the good work!! emoticon

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NANCYPAT1 7/31/2013 8:02AM

    You are doing amazing and working with what your circumstances allow. It is so wonderful that there is so much newer technology available to help you out. I will keep you in my prayers.

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MAMISHELI53 7/31/2013 7:46AM

    May you sense the Lord's embrace as He walks with you through this long valley. Shel

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GRANDMAMAOF3 7/31/2013 7:33AM

    Move every day. You're doing it.

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NUTRON3 7/31/2013 6:05AM

    All good ones

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ARTJAC 7/31/2013 5:33AM

    emoticon

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SUSIEPH1 7/31/2013 4:30AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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PHOENIX1949 7/31/2013 4:09AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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ROCHELLE62 7/31/2013 1:01AM

    You can't control the illness but I love that you control how you react to it and that you fight the good fight. You are a winner.

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2ABBYNORMAL 7/31/2013 12:57AM

    It's me. Happy you're going to keep returning to the healing center. I believe it makes a considerable difference. Keep the faith!
Have you thought about calling the National MS Society to see if you can get any aid in paying for your help with walking? I do get the quarterly magazine and have read many articles where they help pay for items for individuals in need. I can try to find the number if you want. I know I have it written down somewhere.
Have you been taking any steroids? I know that contributes greatly to weight gain.
Your attitude is amazing, positive and upbeat. I am so happy for that.
emoticon emoticon

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KAREN608 7/31/2013 12:27AM

    I am glad you are asking for prayer, keep at that.

And I worked for a man with MS ... he ran a Ben Franklin store.

You are making progress and don't fret about the inches, I know it
is aggravating but gaining control over your muscles and getting
stronger legs is a big thing, whether you feel it is or not.

May the Lord let you see improvements and be uplifted.

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JANIEWWJD 7/30/2013 11:52PM

    You are already winning everytime you try!!!! emoticon

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RDEFASSI 7/30/2013 11:05PM

    I love your determination and planning. Keep up those small baby steps they add up over time! Good luck as you continue going to your healing room! You can do it!

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WEEPINGANGEL74 7/30/2013 10:54PM

    I had no idea you were up against so much. I've known people with MS and have seen some of their struggles. You have the right never give up attitude and you're making great progress with your workout times. Could some of the measurement gain be water retention from lack of mobility for that period of time?

You can do this, one day at a time! emoticon

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TLG71567 7/30/2013 10:42PM

    Wow, it sounds like you have had a really rough year. I don't know much about MS, but I am glad that you are seeing some improvement. I can relate to the inability to move though. I had a herniated disc last year that made my right arm go numb and caused so much pain that I cried every time I stood up. I could not sit up, could not use my right arm at all, could not drive, walk around, even reading a book was out because of the pain meds that I was on. It was horrible and I gained weight because I wasn't doing anything. After surgery to fix the disc, it took four more months before I could go back to work and another five months before I had full strength and function back in my right arm. Then I ended up in the hospital for eight days with a lung issue that about killed me. I could barely get out of the hospital bed and get to the bathroom I was so weak. They found a medication that has gotten my breathing under control, but now they think I have dystonia, which is causing muscle contractions in my right arm and my feet. It also appears to be making my right arm very weak. It is frustrating, but like you, I am trying to do as much as I can. That's all we can do. Just keep pushing and try to make the healthiest choices that we can. emoticon

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ALL4BMI 7/30/2013 10:39PM

    emoticon It will happen

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WORKNPROGRESS49 7/30/2013 10:24PM

    emoticon emoticon

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COCK-ROBIN 7/30/2013 10:22PM

    Keep at it. You'll get there!

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