Tuesday, July 30, 2013
Undeniable Adult Truths
1. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.
2. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
3. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
4. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.
5. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
6. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
7. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?
8. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!
9. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
10. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
11. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1 .7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.
12. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.