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    KEELIE21   34,747
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The battle

Monday, July 29, 2013

I have it pretty darn good, I really do. Great fiancÚ whom I rarely ever fight with, a job that can be frustrating but I don't hate it and I get along well with everyone. I have a great family which includes a close friendship with my sister, and friends that are outta this world awesome.

You know who I have to fight with constantly? Myself. I am my abusive relationship, my unfulfilling job, my unimpressed family and my sabotaging frenemy. I can be a real bitch, but only to myself. I just keep failing to my health a priority. Being self aware can be a real pain in the a$$

I know and BELIEVE that losing weight has to be put up there with family work and friends, yet I continue to let myself off the hook again and again. Why is this?

Has anyone else gone through this battle, and if so how did you finally win?

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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LAINYC 8/1/2013 3:13PM

    Been there but emoticon

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ROSAMARCELLE 7/31/2013 5:57PM

    It helps to turn round and remind yourself of the positive achievements you've made when you feel like bitching at yourself. Works every time with me! emoticon

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BIGPAWSUP 7/30/2013 7:05PM

    Yep, been there, done that, have the t-shirt (in many sizes).

Remind yourself every single day of the good that you've done, the good you are doing. When you catch the negative junk, ask yourself if you would talk to you buddies like that. It is a long slow process but you can do it.

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PRETTYPITHY 7/30/2013 3:56PM

    Wow, well stated. I absolutely have to fight with myself, I think it's a battle we all face. The best I can do is to treat myself with love, regardless of whether I'm feeling the love in that moment. When I relate to myself from a place of hate or disappointment, negative behaviors are merely reinforced. However, when I am able to treat myself with kindness, gentleness and admiration, the wellspring of positivity fuels my whole life. Good luck! emoticon

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TIFFA409 7/30/2013 3:52PM

    Wow, you could have been writing this about me! Thanks for the kick in the pants you gave me while giving one to yourself. We do need to make our health a tier 1 priority, not just what we get around to if there "is time"

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CRYSTLE4HIMTX12 7/30/2013 12:19PM

    I hope you find the answers that work for you. I know it sounds simple but I just don't allow myself not to take care of me. I raised five kiddos and put them and life first. I had to battle long and hard to shed not only the extra weight but the mental issues that pushed me into not making me a priority.

Love yourself and think about the long term ramifications if you don't take care of you. One day old age will sneak up on you. For me that is my push to keep doing the exercise and reinging myself back in when eating gets out of control. I want to be as fit and self sufficient as long as I can. I want 80 to be as good as 40. emoticon I know my 40's blow my 30's out of the water. emoticon

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CHERYL_ANNE 7/30/2013 11:22AM

    Oh, I didn't win -- I just no longer fight - I allowed it to sink in that I needed to work at my relationship with myself as much as I work at my relationship with others!

That I need to be mindful of the way I speak to myself and that I should do so the way I speak to those that I love - and that includes me.

I finally decided that I was going to become the healthiest I could be (as opposed to a number on a scale). To make changes that would serve me for the rest of my life or until I find something that works even better. I bring my own sunshine with me and am positive (because I believe that positive attracts positive) and re-frame things in as positive a way as I can. It's why I practice moderation, not deprivation and eat healthy as opposed to dieting.

I re-think certain food-related beliefs. For example: Food is fuel. I eat to live. Not live to eat. It is not "good" or "bad" or a "reward" or "treat" - it is simply fuel. Since I want to get the most mileage I can - I am mindful of the fuel selection I make when I fuel-up!

Half the time I've spent over the last ten months has been work done on my "insides" doing all the hard, scary, i-don't-wanna stuff so that I can sync up my brain and my body. Being an Emotional Eater means that I learn coping skills and mechanisms so that I clearly understand my right to express my emotions and not punish myself with food and stuff my feelings down inside me. I will no longer be the person who punishes myself for something someone else says or does.

Sometimes I do get in my own way and the important thing is that I recognize when I'm doing it and step aside as I continue on my way.

You got this! You can do this!
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LORI3679 7/30/2013 8:47AM

    I'm the same way! I battle myself every day. I'm slowly learning not to be too hard on myself and let go of perfectionism. Since I've started doing that, I'm more at peace with myself. I no longer go on a binge in the evening after I've had a cookie at work. I tell myself that it's okay, I'm human. I can have a cookie and it's not the end of the world. It doesn't cancel out that spinach salad, fruit and extra veggies I ate for lunch. It's okay in moderation.

Sorry to ramble on!

My point is that if you give yourself a break, you will find that it creates a more positive self image.

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STEPH-KNEE 7/30/2013 3:04AM

    Oh my gosh, I completely understand what you are going through! I would say things to myself that I would never say to anyone else in a million years, it sounds like exactly what you are dealing with.

The voice in my head always said to me "You will always be fat, you will never lose weight, why do you even try?" "Why do you think this time will be different, you always fail!"

I lost 40 pounds twice to gain it all back because the voice would win. I have spent the last 16 months losing a lot of weight, but I've been working on how I talk to myself. Any negative thought I would stop it and I would insert a positive thought. It was really hard and felt like it wasn't working at first, but it did get easier and easier. A good rule of thumb is, if you wouldn't say it to someone else, you can't say it to yourself.

Obviously the "fat" comments are a big thing, but also things like "You ONLY lost 1 pound this week, you should have done better!" You would never tell a friend or other Sparker that they should be ashamed they ONLY lost 1 pound, you would be celebrating and encouraging them.

I do promise that you can overcome this voice, and it'll sneak back up on you when you least expect it... but if you are conscious of it you will beat it!

A sparker here had a great vlog on this subject, here's the link:
http://www.sparkpeople.com
/mypage_public_journal_individu
al.asp?blog_id=5250600

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