Monday, July 29, 2013
...in the form of a cold lol I appreciate my job, but not necessarily the exposure to the dozens of grubby little germ-carrying darlings each day. I've had so many dang colds this year...and I'm a cranky germ carrier. Nothing chafes me more than not being able to do what I want because of GERMS. Lol.
I guess it was our anniversary last week, and we both totally forgot lol. Hence we didn't do too much. A nice movie night was suggested, but sitting in a theatre for 2+ hours all clogged up was not my idea of fun. Hopefully this weekend instead.
My weight hit a new low briefly, then I got sick--which tends to make my eating drift towards high carb/processed things. Not sure if that's just a habit, or my body desiring foods that are easier to process and break down. Both, maybe. The idea of eating the steak I have in the fridge just seems too..heavy right now..
...Am I the only one who has a really hard time seeing myself objectively? I'm talking quite literally here--as in, I look in the mirror, and sometimes I see a strength and muscles and a stronger stance and solid form--other times I see the complete opposite--flabby and weak and almost no muscle and big protruding belly. I think I've written about this before--which one is the 'real' me, what do I truly look like? Do people see 'strength' and confidence when I walk around in a tank top, proudly exposing my arms and shoulders--or do they see 'old lady arms'-someone old who thinks she's all that, but isn't, and do they just shake their head and laugh internally at me?
....Re-reading this a while later, and realizing that it isn't really relevant. Facts are, I'm better than I was. I can feel the muscle, see some of them, and the scale and measuring tape reflect that. And even at my worst, I'm constantly getting better. So it's all...transient. Or is it transitional? Lol. And finite, really. At some point as I get older I will lose the ability to put on any more muscle or improve much of anything, and will be mainly focused on slowing down the things that are deteriorating. So I need to keep striving, now, while I'm still fully capable of it.
Keep on keeping on.