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    SKYEPHOENIX   20,036
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Day 7.29 Clogged vent


Monday, July 29, 2013

...in the form of a cold lol I appreciate my job, but not necessarily the exposure to the dozens of grubby little germ-carrying darlings each day. I've had so many dang colds this year...and I'm a cranky germ carrier. Nothing chafes me more than not being able to do what I want because of GERMS. Lol.

I guess it was our anniversary last week, and we both totally forgot lol. Hence we didn't do too much. A nice movie night was suggested, but sitting in a theatre for 2+ hours all clogged up was not my idea of fun. Hopefully this weekend instead.

My weight hit a new low briefly, then I got sick--which tends to make my eating drift towards high carb/processed things. Not sure if that's just a habit, or my body desiring foods that are easier to process and break down. Both, maybe. The idea of eating the steak I have in the fridge just seems too..heavy right now..

Objectivity
...Am I the only one who has a really hard time seeing myself objectively? I'm talking quite literally here--as in, I look in the mirror, and sometimes I see a strength and muscles and a stronger stance and solid form--other times I see the complete opposite--flabby and weak and almost no muscle and big protruding belly. I think I've written about this before--which one is the 'real' me, what do I truly look like? Do people see 'strength' and confidence when I walk around in a tank top, proudly exposing my arms and shoulders--or do they see 'old lady arms'-someone old who thinks she's all that, but isn't, and do they just shake their head and laugh internally at me?

....Re-reading this a while later, and realizing that it isn't really relevant. Facts are, I'm better than I was. I can feel the muscle, see some of them, and the scale and measuring tape reflect that. And even at my worst, I'm constantly getting better. So it's all...transient. Or is it transitional? Lol. And finite, really. At some point as I get older I will lose the ability to put on any more muscle or improve much of anything, and will be mainly focused on slowing down the things that are deteriorating. So I need to keep striving, now, while I'm still fully capable of it.

Keep on keeping on.

Mar
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Member Comments About This Blog Post:
LE7_1234 7/29/2013 11:27PM

    "Am I the only one who has a really hard time seeing myself objectively?"

[Falls off seat from laughing hysterically]

Yes, Mar, it's just you!

But only because I'm not looking in a mirror at the moment! :-)

"I'm talking quite literally here--as in, I look in the mirror, and sometimes I see a strength and muscles and a stronger stance and solid form--other times I see the complete opposite--flabby and weak and almost no muscle and big protruding belly."

Why can't both be true?

I see both. I have nice definition in my shoulders. My arms look like I do give them some attention. But they also have some flab.

Some days I notice the good stuff more. Some days I notice the bad.

Sometimes it depends on my mood.

Sometimes I think there's a hormonal influence--My whole body seems to swell when I'm retaining, not just the standard bloat regions. And since I seem to have hit peri, the hormonal influence is getting weirder. I think I really do vary from day to day.

Sometimes it depends on my clothes. I have a dress I really like that seems to highlight what it should highlight, and flows over other areas in a pretty nice way. I got another from the same company that is cut the same at the waist, but it's slightly shorter, with a sort of scooped hemline (it's more tunic-y), and cap sleeves instead of short sleeves. Same size. I look bigger in the second one. I still really like it, so I still wear it--and since I like it, I feel good in it even if "objectively" it's not as flattering as the other.

So, yeah. Keep on keeping on. All is well.

(Oh, we got married on a friend's birthday. He used to send us anniversary reminders. :-) )

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