For the past ten days, I have been really struggling to stay on track with my eating. Okay, confession...I have been binge eating.
This month started out so great! My Spark buddy Tammy and I started doing the 30 Day Shred on July first. I was so focused on putting my best into that workout, and on eating as healthy as I possibly could. I was doing great for the first two and a half weeks...but now my eating is totally out of control. What the heck happened?
My hubby was out of work for a year, and the stress of that was really hard for us both. In the past, such stress would have made me totally give up on trying to lose weight and be healthy. But not this time! This time, I forced myself to keep going. I hit a plateau, but I continued to eat right and exercise. The stress was always there, like a knot in my stomach, but I tried to ignore it. Then, two weeks ago, hubby finally got another job! It was such a huge relief to us both to have him working again. But then a funny thing happened...I started to lose control with my eating!
I don't understand why this is happening, why I am going back to my old habit of binge eating. I'm still working out every day, but I can feel that I have gained a few pounds. I don't weigh myself, but my clothes aren't slipping on as easily as they were! So I know my weight has gone up. I'm struggling so hard to get my eating back on track!
Struggling. Some people see struggling as a bad thing. Some people think that if you're struggling, then you are failing. I don't see it like that. I see struggling as a positive thing, because I know that if I am struggling, it means I am not giving up. If I'm struggling, then I'm still trying. And if I keep trying, then I will succeed.
Thank God I am struggling! Don't get me wrong...I'm not at all happy with myself for binge eating and undermining my hard work with the 30 Day Shred. But I'm glad that I have not completely thrown in the towel. I'm glad that I am fighting and struggling to get back on track! I know that I WILL get back on track. I will never give up on myself. I gave up on myself for so many years before, but that is the old me. The new me loves herself enough to hang in there and to keep putting forth my best effort. Some days, my best effort is not as good as other days. But I will not stop trying.
"No matter how far you have gone down a wrong road, turn back." (Peruvian proverb)
If you are struggling too, then don't you give up and don't beat yourself up about it! Keep struggling, because that means you are still trying. Your struggles will serve to make you stronger, as long as you don't give up. Its not easy to lose weight and be healthy, but you have to keep believing that you are worth the effort! Imagine how proud you will be when you struggle through and succeed!