29 July 2013, Still working on it
Monday, July 29, 2013
Well, it's been quite a ride thus far! My biggest stumble has been my frame of mind. You see, I suffer from depression, it's a daily battle for me. And, even though I understand that exercise helps me fight this, there is the physiological aspect of depression that gets me. There is pain at various parts of my body that I cannot ignore. I also don't want to give in to taking that tiny little pill that makes me numb. I have probably always been a little depressed but the loss of my Jordan threw me into an all out downward spiral, one that I still have not found the bottom of. I'm sure, though, I have come close. That's why I haven't posted in a while, I've been battling the dark. But, I am beginning to see light again. Just understanding that I have been here before, convincing myself that I can work my way out of it again, telling myself I am strong enough, has been enough to guide me towards the light.
So, I begin again! I'm starting to get back into the routine of getting up early and that was a big part of my slow down, being tired all the time. I'll start off slow again, walking the dog, elliptical back to 30 minutes, and pressing "PLAY", to listen to the sometimes annoying voices of my exercise tape!
It's all I can do. POSITIVES: still not drinking pop on a regular basis, I had some when we ordered pizza for the first time in 6 months. Still eating light. Still eating right. Still losing. Drinking more water still! These things are now in my lifestyle, and maybe that's why my inevitable journey to the dark was a short one this time. Love and Light! Shar