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"When the remembering was done, the forgetting could begin." Sara Zarr

Sunday, July 28, 2013

THOUGHT: "When the remembering was done, the forgetting could begin." Sara Zarr, author

I find this thought interesting because a lot of years ago, people's favorite saying to me was "Forgive and Forget" when I shared my pain of the sexual and emotional abuse I had suffered.

I disagreed.

It is through the remembering and processing that I could start resolving the pain within me and, in doing so, the forgetting was more defined as a letting go of the self-hatred and suicidal depression, and welcoming peace and joy for the first time in my life.

For all of you in pain - there is a way to peace. The way is very individual and at times, very difficult to find but not impossible.

Love, Chelsea emoticon


Member Comments About This Blog Post:
ENDUROVET 8/11/2013 8:43AM

    WORD, my SparkFriend! I haven't even bothered to fill in my dear friend J on the latest legal drama...She just wouldn't understand; I fight these battles not just for my son, but for MYSELF.
Only a fragment of last night's bad dreams remains w/me; in some weird way it reinforced to me that I am on a righteous path.
(I'll try to "blog it all out" later ;-)
luv Val

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MLDRLD 7/31/2013 9:20AM

    Way to go, Chelsea! So wonderful that you are receiving so many positive benefits from your efforts to create a healthier lifestyle! emoticon emoticon You deserve love, peace, and joy in your life.

We love you, too!

emoticon . Mary Lynne

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JUDITH316 7/31/2013 5:10AM

    Amen, thanks for sharing Chelsea... emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 7/31/2013 5:11:33 AM

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TDWANDD2MYK9 7/29/2013 5:29AM

    I can forgive, but never forget. I live with Chronic Pain, amongst other things.

Smile through the face of adversity, no matter how bad your pain, it's do or die.......

Thank You Chelsea (((HUGS)))

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JUST_BREATHE08 7/29/2013 12:21AM

    emoticon so much for sharing! emoticon

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BARBIEE52 7/28/2013 9:57PM

How true this is. I have been able to forgive and when I do, I can finally let go. I only wish my one sister could read your blog, and be able to forgive. But I cannot do it for her. I know I feel better because I can, and my life is so much better. Thanks so much for sharing. emoticon emoticon emoticon
Lots of love & smiles,
Barb emoticon

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MOTLEM 7/28/2013 8:58PM

    There are so many types of pain, both physical and mental.

If we can but manage a smile each day, and maybe give someone else a smile too, then, I think that's enough under some circumstances.

You always manage to do this, Chelsea. I do too .. as that is one of my daily goals in life!

So glad to know you, girlfriend! emoticon

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KENWANNE2013 7/28/2013 8:03PM

    I agree with snoopymoma - you are amazing. I'm so glad you found your way through Chelsea. So many of us have benefited from your kindness and compassion - you are pretty awesome!

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SUNSHINE192DAY 7/28/2013 7:47PM

    Thank you so much for sharing that! I'm so glad that you're ok! Love~Abby

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LIVINGFREE19 7/28/2013 5:48PM

    That is so true, Chelsea, that it is very individual to a person how they decide they can heal.

I am so glad you found that you can heal, some unfortunately don't.

Big emoticon

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MICKEYH 7/28/2013 5:16PM

    Thank you for this post. I believe we all have same pains in our heart and memories. You are so right about " there is a way to peace. The way is very individual." So as time frames. I am still in the middle of my human-revolution.
When I think of some of past event in my life and when remembering it, it's still hearts. I don't want to drinking poison myself and expect other person to die. So I know it's time to let things go... Some day are good but same are still bad. I am working on it everyday. (*^^*)

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SNOOPYMOMMA72 7/28/2013 3:52PM

    I think it takes great courage to do that after all you have been through. You are one tough and strong woman!
For me, I can forgive - but can't forget. I always remember my Dad saying, "Fool me once - shame on you, Fool me twice - shame on me". I guess I view not forgetting as a way to protect myself.

Have a wonderful day and thanks for sharing the picture - it is so pretty! Love your background by the way - it is so cheery with the colors and flowers.


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KATWELL88 7/28/2013 3:40PM

    Hey girlfriend with sunshiny smile,

Another great lesson in healing and wisdom I LEARN something from you!
The survivor theme I can relate to a path of healing in terms of my own losses. We have to heal before we can help others. emoticon emoticon

The forgive and forget line that people told me years ago for some reason irks me a bit (relax not you-- not sure why possiblly people meant well when my sister died---forget the sadness or tragedy of my sister ( that's ok) or forget what if something else um... some other thing.... think forget my sister??? Bit of mystery why) emoticon

However I DO AGREE with your approach to your wellness path remember and reflect your lessons of healing through your childhood abuse and heal yourself with threapy and supportive friends. emoticon

Letting go your Neagativity ( self hate?? And Depression side is important to do the healing process and your disabity has been not easy at times AND you are a survivor ! I admire your courage and kindness to help other people. emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 7/28/2013 3:43:38 PM

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MOM2ACAT 7/28/2013 3:36PM

    I was bullied all through school, which I know doesn't compare to what you have been through; you've had it so much worse, but I do understand how hard it is to deal with issues from out past that affect our mental health and self esteem. I can work on letting go of the grudges I've held and the pain, but it's not something I will forget.


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MLDRLD 7/28/2013 12:28PM

    You are so right, we must remember and confront our pain before we can release it!

I'm sorry for the pain you have experienced and celebrate the loving, caring, compassionate person you have become!

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MSHEL7 7/28/2013 12:13PM

    I can't forget either, if I remember the past I do better in the future. Thanks for sharing. Sorry for all you have gone through in your life.

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PEGGYO 7/28/2013 12:10PM


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SLIMMERJESSE 7/28/2013 11:48AM

    Speaking for myself, I can forgive, but I never forget. That way, I minimize the risk of making the same mistakes.

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LITTLEGUYSMOM1 7/28/2013 11:35AM

    I'm in total agreement. One thing I learned in going through my own issues with abuse was that you are blessed when you can remember and still forgive. With God it is possible!

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PATRICIA441 7/28/2013 11:14AM

    Pain and suffering through bad memories does take a long time and for each one of us I think perhaps we do it in a different way that works for us. A long,slow journey but a necessary one. Loving hugs Chelsea. Pat

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SLACHETKA103145 7/28/2013 11:12AM

    Thank you! I feel these words were written for me!! They mean so much! In many ways I can walk this path!!

emoticon emoticon emoticon

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Yes I agree, although I have never thought about it like that. It makes sense, doesn't it?


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SANDRALEET 7/28/2013 9:20AM

    So true I had the different problem and ones I dealt with it repressed problems came to the surface It toke a long time

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