Sunday, July 28, 2013
GAH! I wrote this big whole long blog post and the website ate it! T.T Oh well. Here goes again I suppose:
Yesterday was really, really tough! I had all my chores and cleaning and whatnot done by early afternoon, which left me with a majority of the day full of nothing to do! Boredom has always been one of my greatest enemies. When I'm bored I end up going crazy! Haha but that usually happens to me. The tough part had to do with the food!
The day started out pretty well. I was up early enough for breakfast so I had a 110 calorie protein shake. Lunch was a 325 calorie portion of skillet lasagna and a cup of mixed veggies. I was barely hungry when I went out to dinner and had sushi, which surprised me. I was very, very proud of myself at dinner though for ordering traditional sushi and nigiri with (raw) albacore, shrimp, and crab, which are only 40-60 per piece. Usually I get the rolls, usually tempura fried, which can be as much as 600 calories a roll and packed with less healthy ingredients. I did have a roll with tempura shrimp and crab, but I estimate that the whole dinner was under 700 calories.
That would have left me at about 1380 calories for the day, which included a small indulgence of a macadamia nut cookie. But later that night the craving set in. Dun dun dun! I wanted to binge eat SO BADLY. The desire all but consumed me. Literally all I could focus on was the urge to stuff my face. Whenever the desire hits me that hard, I always give in. :(
In the end, I only splurged a little bit. I ended up having a 100 calorie Greek Yogurt, about 3 oz of baked chicken thigh, and two all fruit strips totally about 300 calories total. I estimate my grand total for the day was about 1675. And you know what? Yes, that's 175 calories over my max. Yes, I'm kind of upset with myself about it. But it's still a victory in my book. Not going to lie, when I get a craving to binge that badly, I binge BIG TIME. I'm talking a trip to the grocery story AND swinging through Jack In The Box big time. We're talking, like, 2500-3000 calories for the binge itself, let alone what else I ate that day. In the scheme of things, and considering the strength of this binging urge, 300 calories is a pretty big success.
I can also take solace in the fact that yesterday was alright and more closer to my ideal range, so at least I'm a few days into making progress. And pretty much all the food choices I made were healthy ones regardless of the calorie count. Haha, can you imagine someone not being careful about their nutrition being upset for binging on 300 calories of Greek yogurt, baked chicken, and fruit? Haha!
Well, in the end I was still under maintenance, right? Even if I only lose an ounce, it's still an ounce lost and a step in the right direction!
Anywho, the food outlook is pretty good for the next three days or so. Even though I'm planning to call in to work today for a mental health day, I've stocked up on healthy food options regardless if I eat here or take my food to work. There's a 325 calorie portion of skillet lasagna left, not to mention the rest of the chicken thighs that range from 100-150 calories per piece depending on their size. There are also more protein shakes, spinach salad kits, and a whole freezer full of frozen veggies. Since my lunch buddy at work is out until Tuesday, I don't have to worry about eating out or going to places where I'll over eat. And even then I think I can get this buddy to dine at places with food in my calorie ranges for a few days. I should be golden until about Thursday or Friday. If I could get to where I'm stable in the 1200-1300 calorie range everyday, that would be fantastic. Every step in the right direction counts, right?
Everything is lined up for success. All I have to do is follow through. I can do this!