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    HARMONIUM   182,448
150,000-199,999 SparkPoints

Thank you to those who read my blogs

Saturday, July 27, 2013

My blog here on Spark People is a catch-all thing. An "olla podrida" (a phrase I know from crossword puzzles). I meant it to be all about my weight-loss and exercise commitment. I have discovered how inextricable my emotions are from my weight-loss.

I have written some very strong emotional things here and it is cathartic. I never used to write much about myself and that was the part of me that craved expression but I tamped it down with eating.

You know what? Everyone has a perfect right to be upset about deaths in the family, job losses, every day failures large and small, losses of all sorts. That is the compound of life along with the birth that is fervently desired or the outcome that is a true blessing.

I have written about the good and the bad and the ugly and the beautiful. I try not to compartmentalize things. When I compartmentalized I had a compartment for my thoughts that was physically expressed in belly fat and shortness of breath. I have been candid in my blogs and that has helped me.

Some days the victory is evading a delicious risotto and other days the victory is being able to speak---of survival and contemplation.

We should all learn to love ourselves. I love it that I am speaking out about my memories and I sincerely hope that if I write things that are uncomfortable to read, that you can just move along.

I think that the blogs here are not meant to entertain but meant to act as a critical aspect of the healing that most of us "fat people" need to work on. It is better medicine than mainlining pasta!


Member Comments About This Blog Post:
AMARILYNH 7/30/2013 9:08PM

    Natalie, you are a wonderful writer and I LOVE your blogs!! And YES - its SUCH a better outlet than reaching for food. You get it out of your system and the rest of us get to learn from your thoughts!! PLEASE don't stop writing!!

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FAERY_FACE 7/30/2013 3:00AM

    What a great blog Natalie. You always touch my heart.

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SHIRAZSOLLY 7/30/2013 2:08AM

    We at Spark People know bloggers mainly write for themselves - and we can come along for the ride/read if we want. There are blogs here that are primarily cartoons lifted off the internet somewhere because the bloggers enjoy them; readers who enjoy them follow those blogs. There are other blogs, like yours, that deal primarily in serious subjects and may be healing for you but ALSO stimulate thinking and healing on the part of your readers. When you wrote of your parents' deaths, many thought of their own families. Losing family is a major contributor to depression, anger, guilt and a whole host of other unhappy emotions that can lead to lack of meaningful activity and overeating. I, for one, won't be "moving on". I like coming here to see what you've written, even if it is "depressing" because it is also thought provoking, and that is what I need.

Thank you.

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MINANCY 7/29/2013 6:23PM

    Your blogs are always very heart-felt. My dad passed in October 2009. There was a 12 month period where I lost about 12 people. Some as close as my dad, some parents of friends, some neighbors. After a year of so much loss I found myself crying frequently. During a doctor visit, I mentioned my sad state so he prescribed an anti-depressant. I took it for two days then stopped. I felt strongly that it was important to feel the emotions of loss, that it is a part of life, and that to dull that pain was not right. If you deal with it, it gets woven into the tapestry of your life.

Comment edited on: 7/29/2013 6:25:14 PM

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40PUDDLEJUMPER 7/28/2013 5:01AM

    I love reading about other people days, thoughts, comings and goings and ponderings it does not have to be about dieting or fitness, its all an insight into how we can all better how we live feel and think - emoticon

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POPSY190 7/28/2013 12:26AM

    I always like reading your blogs, no matter what your subject matter. I think the blogging serves many purposes, all of them useful. emoticon

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MONETRUBY 7/27/2013 11:28PM

    Lovely blog. I believe that everyone one SP should use the tools in whatever way works best for them, and that includes the blog. I am so glad that the act of blogging is helping you in the healing process, and that we can be some small part in that. I am always amazed at the support that people show to each other here.

I enjoy reading your blogs, even when they deal with difficult issues. You have such an eloquent way of expressing yourself that is lovely to read, and I can tell that you are learning so much about yourself, and how you can become better over time. Thank you for trusting us enough to share such personal things with us. It is very humbling.

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    This one started out sounding like a letter of farewell. I became reassured as I continued. The scope of your thoughts, emotions and experiences is a highlight in SP.

"Mainlining" pasta is the act of slurping in strands of spaghetti, no? I prepare Jewish pasta, which, in my kitchen, means snapping the spaghetti in half before tossing it in the water. On that theme, I expect to make a stop on Monday at a shop you may have known in your NY days, Raffetto's on West Houston.

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LRSILVER 7/27/2013 9:41PM

    Beautiful, thanks.

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MUSCLE-UP 7/27/2013 8:34PM

    Oh, mainlining pasta. If there could be such a day. I'm sorry I am so addicted. I dream more about pasta dishes than I do about chocolate cake.

I love that you speak from your heart and are able to. I know that sharing your dreams, passions and heartache let us see just how whole of a person you are.

I love reading your blogs.

I am heading back to playing one of my Nancy Drew Mystery PC games. I'll share.

Comment edited on: 7/27/2013 8:35:07 PM

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SARAWALKS 7/27/2013 8:33PM

    A beautiful way to express what blogs can mean.
Thank you for your willingness to share.

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