Caregiving- dementia/depression ( my heart is breaking)
Saturday, July 27, 2013
Things have become more challenging for me. I live with my Mom and Step dad. My Mom has been diagnosed with dementia, but some of the neurologist think that depression may be the major component of what is going on with her.
She went in for a check up with her doctor and he made changes to her medications. She has been on a medication for quite some time for anxiety/ depression. Recently it did not seem to be very effective. They started weaning her off the antidepressant before changing to another. It has been very bad for her. Her confusion and sort term memory is even worse. It is breaking my heart.
We sometimes make dinner and place things on the kitchen counter and everyone makes their own plate. We did this the other night. I walked out the room and walked back in. Mom was upset, she could note even serve her own plate. She brings me her phone and asks me to dial someone. She says I guess I have forgotten how to use it. She keeps saying she can not remember. I know that this is a very trying time for her as well as us.
Recently she has been very hard on my step-Dad. It seem she feels he can do nothing right. She keeps bugging/pestering/ nagging him to do things. Often when he tries to talk to her about things she just snaps at him. The poor guy. He is such a nice/sweet/ upstanding Man. The other day it was obvious he was at the end of his wits. She does not let him have any peace. She usually want him to be right with her, or pretty close buy.
She really is pretty depressed, because of her own memory problems and is afraid. She is really afraid because her Mom had Alzheimer's/dementia and now her older sister has it. Grand- mom died in a nursing home. Now my aunt is in a nursing home. Right now she is feeling guilty that she has not seen my aunt, but the doctor does not want her to go out of town until the medications are sorted out. She came to me this morning and asked me to take her to see her sister. She said that my step dad would not take her. I had to remind her that he had already said he would take her, and reminded her about what the doctor said. She just sobbed. Again---It just breaks my heart.
I took Mom with me to the Gym on Thursday and signed her up for a year. We went again today. I am going to try to take her to the gym with me every day it is open. She needs the exercise and needs to get out of the house. My step Dad really needs a break.
It is a real challenge. She is alright in the pool for a while but gets to a point where she can not figure out what to do. I usually swim about 30 laps (2 sets of 15 laps) Today I set up some foam pieces to move from one side of the pool to another while I swam some laps after she got stuck with what to do. I ended up finishing my laps and exercised with her for about 25 min. I set up more foam pieces, but she finished before me. She decided to get out and get in the whirlpool. I did not really want her to stay in there to long.
Dementia and depression both stink. The scary thing is someday I might be in the same place and I have no daughter or other family to take care of me. Guess I can not borrow that trouble, and can only do my best to take care of my own health.
I sure wish my two brothers would actually act right and contact her. I hate having to be the nag and tell them what to do. Guess that is often the way it is with families, the daughter gets the care taker roll. To the guys it is - "out of sight out of mind"