Saturday, July 27, 2013
Okay, I was good on Thursday. Yes.
And yesterday morning I was rewarded with another pound down on the scale.
(That brought the total to 4 pounds lost this summer so far.)
But, I ran into trouble late in the day yesterday.
i had the same old feelings I always had in previous years here at the beach.
I felt a little out of sorts - tired most of the day.
I felt that i needed to eat more. My meals did not satisfy me.
I found myself staring inside the refrigerator or pantry trying to select something to snack on.
At dinnertime, I finally caved...
...and indulged my cravings for junk food.
Potato chips and ice cream
Then, cheese and crackers.
Only one behavior made me feel a little better about myself -- because it wasn't as bad as it has been in the past.
At one point, I had taken out the cheese and crackers to make myself another plate - when I decided I didn't really need to have another.
So I put the cheese and crackers away, and left the kitchen.
This was something new, because in times past, I never stopped once I had the food out. Even if I felt I didn't really want it or need it -- I went ahead with it anyway.
(I have always likened myself during any binge to a shark in a feeding frenzy --
slightly crazed and totally beyond reason.)
So there was this one little thread of control that showed itself at the end. Not much -- but an improvement nonetheless.
Why am I writing all of this down here?
This is to keep an honest record of how this summer is going.
This is to be a keystone summer for all future summers.
So this morning, after my usual 3-mile walk,
I weighed in at only 3 pounds down.
I am still pleased with myself...
...because my energy feels better today, and I feel back in control again.
And I am still netting a 3 pound loss during my time at the beach, which in the past has ALWAYS involved a 5 pound gain.
A big challenge begins today, though.
My son and his wife and 2 kids are arriving this afternoon from the west coast to spend the week with us.
And we'll begin that week tomorrow with a luncheon at our house with a bunch of old friends -- about 10 adults and 4 children.
This will be a whirlwind week ahead.
There will be lots of meals and snacks throughout the day.
I will spend much of the days with my grandchildren - playing with them.
I know my energy will be drained by the end of each day.
And later in the week, my other son who lives nearby will be coming with his little boy too.
I will absolutely LOVE having them all together.
But it will be an emotional time for me -- and an exhausting time too.
I approach this week with some confidence built from the past several successful weeks I've had here.
I am still determined that I do NOT want to put on any weight.
But I still worry that I will fall into old habits of previous summers.
I need to develop the skills of enjoying my family and my company without abandoning my own desires to eat healthfully.
I want to avoid overeating - and I want to avoid feeling deprived while I'm doing it.
That's my goal for this coming week.
Front and center is where that goal needs to be.