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    SUSANNAH31   16,961
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Saturday, July 27, 2013

Okay, I was good on Thursday. Yes.

And yesterday morning I was rewarded with another pound down on the scale.
(That brought the total to 4 pounds lost this summer so far.)

But, I ran into trouble late in the day yesterday.

i had the same old feelings I always had in previous years here at the beach.
I felt a little out of sorts - tired most of the day.
I felt that i needed to eat more. My meals did not satisfy me.
I found myself staring inside the refrigerator or pantry trying to select something to snack on.

At dinnertime, I finally caved...
...and indulged my cravings for junk food.
Potato chips and ice cream

Then, cheese and crackers.

Only one behavior made me feel a little better about myself -- because it wasn't as bad as it has been in the past.
At one point, I had taken out the cheese and crackers to make myself another plate - when I decided I didn't really need to have another.
So I put the cheese and crackers away, and left the kitchen.

This was something new, because in times past, I never stopped once I had the food out. Even if I felt I didn't really want it or need it -- I went ahead with it anyway.

(I have always likened myself during any binge to a shark in a feeding frenzy --
slightly crazed and totally beyond reason.)

So there was this one little thread of control that showed itself at the end. Not much -- but an improvement nonetheless.

Why am I writing all of this down here?
This is to keep an honest record of how this summer is going.
This is to be a keystone summer for all future summers.

So this morning, after my usual 3-mile walk,
I weighed in at only 3 pounds down.
I am still pleased with myself...
...because my energy feels better today, and I feel back in control again.
And I am still netting a 3 pound loss during my time at the beach, which in the past has ALWAYS involved a 5 pound gain.

A big challenge begins today, though.

My son and his wife and 2 kids are arriving this afternoon from the west coast to spend the week with us.
And we'll begin that week tomorrow with a luncheon at our house with a bunch of old friends -- about 10 adults and 4 children.

This will be a whirlwind week ahead.
There will be lots of meals and snacks throughout the day.
I will spend much of the days with my grandchildren - playing with them.
I know my energy will be drained by the end of each day.

And later in the week, my other son who lives nearby will be coming with his little boy too.

I will absolutely LOVE having them all together.
But it will be an emotional time for me -- and an exhausting time too.

I approach this week with some confidence built from the past several successful weeks I've had here.
I am still determined that I do NOT want to put on any weight.

But I still worry that I will fall into old habits of previous summers.

I need to develop the skills of enjoying my family and my company without abandoning my own desires to eat healthfully.

I want to avoid overeating - and I want to avoid feeling deprived while I'm doing it.

That's my goal for this coming week.

Front and center is where that goal needs to be.

Member Comments About This Blog Post:
MORTICIAADDAMS 7/29/2013 11:07PM

    I suffer from wanting some of the same trigger foods as you do - i love ice cream , chips, cheese and crackers.

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IMPROVINGME 7/28/2013 11:26AM

    When we hear back from you at the end of the week, I'm sure you will be reporting positive results.
For me, one of the hardest parts of your goal to overcome would be "I want to avoid feeling deprived while I'm doing it." But your convictions are strong, and you have the mindset to do it!
Enjoy this special time with your family!

emoticon emoticon

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JEANNE229 7/28/2013 10:25AM

    nice to visit with you.

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KALIGIRL 7/27/2013 9:52PM

    "I need to develop the skills of enjoying my family and my company without abandoning my own desires to eat healthfully."
Sounds to me like you are half way there....

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MKMMARTY 7/27/2013 7:52PM

    Sounds like a good week ahead. Just keep walking - be active - the grand kids will do that for you - limit your snacks and even better keep healthy snacks to give to your family to set the example.

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MOBYCARP 7/27/2013 2:48PM

    "At one point, I had taken out the cheese and crackers to make myself another plate - when I decided I didn't really need to have another.
So I put the cheese and crackers away, and left the kitchen. "

This is how a changed attitude starts. It starts with a seemingly little decision like this, so small that you almost don't notice it. Then it gets easier to say you don't want the plate of cheese and crackers. Eventually you find yourself recognizing that you didn't even consider cheese and crackers as a snack.

For me, it was Doritos. I get a 1 oz. bag of them every time I visit Taco Bell, because that's part of the meal deal to order the cheap way. The last time I ate the Doritos, I recognized that I really didn't want them, and they weren't all that good for the cost in calories. Now, those bags of Doritos get donated to people who don't mind eating junk. And while they are waiting to be donated, they sit in my cupboard and don't look like food to me.

You'll get there with the cheese and crackers. You might not be there yet, but you're on your way.

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KRISSYDUNN 7/27/2013 2:03PM

    Excuse me? Did I hear you say you were ONLY down 3 pounds? And you usually GAIN 5 pounds during the summer? Hello! You are 8 pounds ahead of the game! That is awesome! AND you stopped in mid binge! Girl, you are doing great! emoticon

Now, as to your concerns about getting back into old eating patterns - you are right, you must be mindful of your decisions. Make sure there are healthy foods that you love on hand so you can eat them and not feel deprived. You deserve to be happy with yourself and to live in a healthy body - you're not being deprived, you are rewarding yourself by eating healthy.

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BOOKAPHILE 7/27/2013 11:56AM

    Well done on the weight loss thus far! You know you'll be active with the kids and grandkids. Make sure you have plenty of fruit and veggies as well as lower calorie stuff on hand to fill you up without the sorry feelings the next day. This is a hard part of entertaining in a "pot-luck" fashion, but you are strong and can do it!

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DEBRITA01 7/27/2013 11:23AM

    I can relate to that "feeding frenzy" and try to use it as a learning experience each time it happens. For me, it's part of the addiction and I'm gaining a better handle on it. You made a conscious choice to stop with the crackers & cheese, so that is a victory. A lifetime of habits/behaviors will take time to change....continue to be patient with yourself. Try to plan your meals & snacks in advance as much as you can. Having the get-together at your home allows you to have more control over the offerings.Enjoy your time with the family and maybe the busyness will help take the focus off the food and more on the memories. Have fun!

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WATERMELLEN 7/27/2013 10:25AM

    Great blog, great reflections on your goals.

It's tough not eating what company is eating: but I'm betting they won't notice. The good times with your kids and grandkids don't depend upon what you eat.

In those situations it often helps me to track ahead -- put in all my meals the day before. Then I absolutely HATE to go back in and take out the healthy foods and substitute in the tempting foods: so I can tell myself there is "no choice" instead of asking myself if it's OK to have the . . . whatever. No choice no choice no choice: because I already made the choice, yesterday. It's the misery about the choices, standing in front of the fridge and debating, that wear out the will power and cause me so much of the grief.

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MISSUSRIVERRAT 7/27/2013 10:20AM

    I know how you feel. We entertain, socialize, and have many more guests during the summer. Truthfully, it is always a problem for me too. Guess it is an opportunity for us both to learn something and grow. .....OK, at least survive!

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MTN_KITTEN 7/27/2013 10:07AM

    You did great on derailing a binge. You are a strong woman.

Have fun with you loved ones. They are more important than food.

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KANOE10 7/27/2013 10:00AM

    You have excellent goals...avoid overeating and avoid feeling deprived. Find healthy substitutes that you like to eat and keep them on hand. You have done a great job of losing 3 pounds this summer and in changing your eating habits. You can do it.

I have two sons staying with me this summer and I also have to watch not gaining as there are foods around that I do not normally eat.

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