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    MARCIEMCGOWAN   63,575
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TOO FUNNY NOT TO PASS ON!! How Do Court Reporters Keep Straight Faces?

Saturday, July 27, 2013

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
WITNESS: July 18th.
ATTORNEY: What year?
WITNESS: Every year.
ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?
WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?
WITNESS: Forty-five years.

ATTORNEY: She had three children , right?
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death..
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.

ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male.
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.

ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.

Member Comments About This Blog Post:
CMCGRUN 7/31/2013 11:34PM

    emoticon when I need a laugh, I know where to go!!!!

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GRAYLADY13 7/28/2013 2:12PM

    Funny! I love to laugh! emoticon

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BLITZEN40 7/28/2013 1:13PM

    Too funny! emoticon

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THROOPER62 7/27/2013 9:57AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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KIMI_SILVA 7/27/2013 1:07AM

    I love this! My mom shared this with me before, but I still got a good laugh reading them again. Thanks for sharing some laughter!!

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FLEMIDG 7/27/2013 1:00AM

    Thanks for the laugh.

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ALICIA214 7/27/2013 12:57AM

A lot of humour here..Good for a laugh too..

Thanks for the giggle. emoticon

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CHIBIKARATE 7/27/2013 12:50AM

    to much I would do the same thing enjoy to funny ha ha ha

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