Week 4 - fell off the wagon, but climbed back on!
Friday, July 26, 2013
Last week, after my blog entry, I was feeling fine and strong. But, I didn't mention that my best friend from high school was coming into town on saturday for a night... and, well, less than 12 hours later, I was cheating!
On Saturday morning, I went to wegman's to do some shopping, but I ended up getting a bunch of snacks and other food items I normally wouldn't... My reasoning was that the kids would want some snacks when we went to the pool. I got doritos, smartfood popcorn, wheat thins, tostitos scoops, and granola bars. I ate doritos, popcorn, and a granola bar! And, I had wine! And, you know what, I did not feel guilty or bad! It was just one day.... Although, that night we went to my parents and I totally had her homemade strawberry shortbread and brownies... and then we went to Zinga and I shared frozen yogurt with a bunch of candy with Donnie! I didn't eat as much as I normally would, but it was still more than I should have!
I really didn't feel bad that I ended my streak at 22 days of clean eating. I made a conscious decision to enjoy myself and my company that day, and it was great. I woke up on Sunday, and was 2.6 pounds heavier. Not TOO bad, and expected.
Then, we took Donnie to see a movie. I ate popcorn. More than I did the last time... uh oh. And, the sweets and junk from the day before had started a trigger, so on Sunday, I really overdid it and had more brownies, and another granola bar! I did have a few tostitos with guacamole, but not too many. It was the bunch of brownies I ate that put me over the limit. Dang, I ate ilke 6, no joke. Ugh. So, I did start feeling guilty and bad about my choices. I weighed in on Monday another 2 pounds up. EEK! I felt really bad about myself. :(
However, I turned it back around. It wasn't until Thursday that I was back to where I was a week ago, and today I'm down another 0.2 pounds from last week. Not my LOWEST since I started this 6-week stretch, but i'm only up 0.2 pounds from that point, so I'm basically there.
So, I think I learned a few things:
1) Do not have 2 cheat days in a row. It really messes with my head and confidence. I seriously felt VERY FAT for a few days, and it really made me upset. 1 cheat day (or meal would be better!) is a lot easier to recover from versus 2 days or more.
2) Get right back on that horse as soon as possible, and drink a lot of water!
3) Since this is a lifestyle change, getting upset over a 1- or 2-day setback is ridiculous and could end up making me fall even deeper - since I'm an emotional eater, it would be easy to just turn to food. Vicious cycle!
4) 1 cheat item makes it easy to turn into 2 cheat items, into an entire meal, afternoon, day, days, week, etc. If I can recognize this now, it will help me select my cheats wisely, and realize I need to make the next item/meal healthy to get it out of my system.
I am not upset I didn't make it 42 or 43 days straight. That's OK - I have a long time ahead of me to break my streaks. For now, I'm 2 weeks away from the wedding I'm going to. I don't honestly think I will see much changes in my body between then and now without doing anything drastic. I do not plan on doing anything drastic - that leads to binges on my part. So, I'll just keep plugging along, allowing myself a cheat here or there and not beating myself up over it. I'm in this for the long haul.
Oh yeah, I totally wore a pair of size 6 pants to work this week. Muffin top? Yes... so I wore a loose top. But, it wasn't tight on my ass and thighs, so i'm making progress. :)