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Week 4 - fell off the wagon, but climbed back on!

Friday, July 26, 2013

Last week, after my blog entry, I was feeling fine and strong. But, I didn't mention that my best friend from high school was coming into town on saturday for a night... and, well, less than 12 hours later, I was cheating!

On Saturday morning, I went to wegman's to do some shopping, but I ended up getting a bunch of snacks and other food items I normally wouldn't... My reasoning was that the kids would want some snacks when we went to the pool. I got doritos, smartfood popcorn, wheat thins, tostitos scoops, and granola bars. I ate doritos, popcorn, and a granola bar! And, I had wine! And, you know what, I did not feel guilty or bad! It was just one day.... Although, that night we went to my parents and I totally had her homemade strawberry shortbread and brownies... and then we went to Zinga and I shared frozen yogurt with a bunch of candy with Donnie! I didn't eat as much as I normally would, but it was still more than I should have!

I really didn't feel bad that I ended my streak at 22 days of clean eating. I made a conscious decision to enjoy myself and my company that day, and it was great. I woke up on Sunday, and was 2.6 pounds heavier. Not TOO bad, and expected.

Then, we took Donnie to see a movie. I ate popcorn. More than I did the last time... uh oh. And, the sweets and junk from the day before had started a trigger, so on Sunday, I really overdid it and had more brownies, and another granola bar! I did have a few tostitos with guacamole, but not too many. It was the bunch of brownies I ate that put me over the limit. Dang, I ate ilke 6, no joke. Ugh. So, I did start feeling guilty and bad about my choices. I weighed in on Monday another 2 pounds up. EEK! I felt really bad about myself. :(

However, I turned it back around. It wasn't until Thursday that I was back to where I was a week ago, and today I'm down another 0.2 pounds from last week. Not my LOWEST since I started this 6-week stretch, but i'm only up 0.2 pounds from that point, so I'm basically there.

So, I think I learned a few things:
1) Do not have 2 cheat days in a row. It really messes with my head and confidence. I seriously felt VERY FAT for a few days, and it really made me upset. 1 cheat day (or meal would be better!) is a lot easier to recover from versus 2 days or more.
2) Get right back on that horse as soon as possible, and drink a lot of water!
3) Since this is a lifestyle change, getting upset over a 1- or 2-day setback is ridiculous and could end up making me fall even deeper - since I'm an emotional eater, it would be easy to just turn to food. Vicious cycle!
4) 1 cheat item makes it easy to turn into 2 cheat items, into an entire meal, afternoon, day, days, week, etc. If I can recognize this now, it will help me select my cheats wisely, and realize I need to make the next item/meal healthy to get it out of my system.

I am not upset I didn't make it 42 or 43 days straight. That's OK - I have a long time ahead of me to break my streaks. For now, I'm 2 weeks away from the wedding I'm going to. I don't honestly think I will see much changes in my body between then and now without doing anything drastic. I do not plan on doing anything drastic - that leads to binges on my part. So, I'll just keep plugging along, allowing myself a cheat here or there and not beating myself up over it. I'm in this for the long haul.

Oh yeah, I totally wore a pair of size 6 pants to work this week. Muffin top? Yes... so I wore a loose top. But, it wasn't tight on my ass and thighs, so i'm making progress. :)
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    My body too. I can easily get back on track from a 1 day cheat but a 2 day or more, takes a LOT more work!!! NOT WORTH THE STRESS!

    I'm glad you are learning and having fun along the way! It's a process, always!

    Great job!
    1668 days ago
    Sounds like you learned a lot of useful things through this. Isn't it amazing our easy it is to find a rationale to make choices that work against us in the long run. Relearning what really feels 'good' is so important in this journey. I'm sure buying those snacks that you remember as 'good' felt good in itself. I'm sure 'sharing' food with your friend like you used to before you developed attention to your choices, felt good too. So I myself come away with the reminder to re-evaluate what was once good and learn the new 'good' for myself. emoticon
    1671 days ago
    A point to ponder: why would you buy snacks for your kids that YOU don't think you should eat? I'm not saying you should only offer them yogurt and fresh fruit, not at all, but how about making some better substitutions? Like nuts, jerky, trail mix, frosted rice cakes, etc.

    My teenage sons have their friends over frequently and I'm gradually switching from the chips and dips to more substantial snacks. They actually end up eating less of these solid snacks, but because they're not as hungry, not because they don't like them. I've had teenage boys actually ask me HOW to make certain things so they can make it at home.

    1671 days ago
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