Thursday, July 25, 2013
Yesterday, I engaged in a silent meditation for 20 minutes. It was difficult for me to focus on my breathing for 20 minutes, because my mind kept trying to entertain me. It wasn't worrying; it was creating stories and dialogue. And the weird thing is, while I am writing a story, this wasn't dialogue from my story. This wasn't thinking about something else, but simply...thinking. My mind was doing stuff on its own...as an entertainment. Sort of eye-opening that idea, because it means my mind is always writing, even when I'm not aware of it. Perhaps, especially when I'm not aware of it. This could be meaningful for my overall sense of self.
But, anyway, this morning, I decided to try the moving meditation as I exercised in the pool. I tried to focus on what my body was doing and where I was and I had some success. I had never noticed before how the light at the bottom of the pool, the wave reflections, looks like lightening cracking across the sky. I had never noticed that the individual tiles on the edge of the pool have no set pattern. I had just assumed they were laid out in a repeating configuration of some kind...but they are not, they are random white, blue, dark blue tiles. The only pattern I could find was that no two of the white and dark blue tiles are next to one another. And I also focused on the weight and softness of water, which is quite cool and lovely in the morning. Time went by and I exercised and I focused on that alone, so I was more relaxed.