Thursday, July 25, 2013
I've battled ( I hate this term because it implies you win more than you lose which isn't always the case) depression since I was 13. That's when I was first diagnosed with clinical depression and received treatment for it. I've been off and on Prozac at different doses for a really long time.But I had been off it for 3 or 4 years and doing quite well. Even through losing my father.
Lately though I've hit a new low. My Dr. and I have always used a scale of 1-10 and he always asks me, where are you today? 1 is suicidal with a plan, 10 is life is great. Lately I've been at a constant 3. I cry all the time for long periods of time and I'm just not coping. I'd like to say I'm keeping my head above water, but the truth is I'm drowning. Drowning in failure and disappointment. In sadness and grief. In despair and hopelessness.
So I went to my Dr. and told him, I'm at a 3 all the time. He put me back on at a healthy dose that I can handle and I do feel somewhat better already. But I'm also super tired. Like....SUPER tired. Groggy even. And I just can't concentrate. I know it'll get better as it starts to work so I just have to push through
I'm working on a couple of things to deal with the things causing what I'm feeling but it's going to be a while.