Thursday, July 25, 2013
Last night was another of those nights where, after a day of wearing an XL blouse and realizing that it doesn't hang on me right anymore, I came home and asked fashion advice from my sister.
"What do you think of this?" I asked, standing in front of my door, my arms held out as the blouse draped like a tent over my much leaner body. I had bought the blouse this past spring - March? April? - and I was pretty sure it was finally time for one of my last XL garment to go.
My sister stood at the door to her room, across from mine, and put a hand on her chin. Her face got that intense, studying look before she quipped, "Yeah, it's finally time."
And that was that. I took off the garment and threw it in the wash, happy that one more item was on its way to another set of hands.
But there is a problem. A problem I had been noticing for a few weeks now, but hadn't really had the chance to do anything about.
You see, when I travel out of state, I tend to wear almost exclusively t-shirts. I had recently bought a slew at Gap and Old Navy, so I was good - no, more than good. I had a nice little selection of fitted tees for my casual pleasure.
The thing is, when I am in state, going to the office, I like to wear something a bit dressier. A nice blouse. A button-up shirt. Problem is, my wardrobe has slimmed down with my waistline - instead of a whole slew of blouses, I now had about 4 - two button-downs from Old Navy, my spring blouse (which may or may not be tentlike on me at this point), and the XL blouse that was now in the "To Wash and Donate" pile.
The difference between last year and this year is astonishing. Last year, yes, I had tons of clothes in my closet - but a good half of them I couldn't wear. I was too big. The other half that I could were ones from the Plus Size departments, and they weren't ones I really liked. When I shopped back when I was 268 pounds, I tended to look for things that fit and had nice colors. And by "fit", I mean it in the loosest sense of the word - none of the nice shirts I owned did I like and think looked fabulous on me. I didn't really think of fashion - other than in the "Wow that is so gorgeous, I wish they made it in my size/I wish I wasn't such a Chubster" way.
Now, over 100 pounds lighter, I struggle to figure out how to fit clothes on me. What looks good and what doesn't? What do I like and what do I not? I have way more choices now - I don't have to settle for something that conceals rolls of fat or is a decent color. I can find something that fits me the way I like - something that makes me feel sexy or flirty or fun or just plain happy to be alive and healthy and living my life.
So today, I think I'll be heading to Kohl's or maybe Macy's or some sort of clothes store. I'm going to pick up a couple of nice shirts to replace the ones gone in my closet. It'll be a lot of fun to wander the store and have pretty much everything at my fingertips - a feeling I don't think I've ever experienced in my life (childhood OR adulthood). I certainly won't break the bank - I've still got about 18 pounds to go before I reach my goal (OMG, I can't believe I can say that!!) - but I think a couple of nicely chosen shirts is good. It's a good pat-on-the-back to myself in addition to helping fill up my Spartan closet.