Thursday, July 25, 2013
Ok, so I lost my mind and my motivation. I gained 70 pounds and was really disappointed in myself. My energy was gone and I was embarrased.
As I analyze the reasons, I tend to realize that my apperance was a large factor. When my weight comes back off, I will have a considerable amount of skin... nothing I can do about it but surgery. I have since refocused on the way I felt with those 70 lbs gone. I bounded up the stairs instead of slowly climbing them as I do now. I was happier and more open with others. I want those feelings back. I will live with a little extra skin just to get those feelings back.
Over the last 2 years, I have been under a considerable amount of job stress with multiple projects on my plate and a not so good economy with many friends and neighbors losing their jobs. This all placed a lot of worry in my mind. While things have improved in the project load, I don't see much improvement on the job security front. With that in mind, I am planning on refocusing on family, frineds and what I have. I am decentralizing my job in my life, battening down the hatches on the financial front and placing my priorities on me and my family. With my family around, I cannot fail, so why worry.
In essence, I chose the easy way when things got tough in my life. Instead of going into maintenance, I went into melt down. It was far easier to watch tv and have a snack after work than it is to go out and ride a bike or mow the lawn. It was easier to sleep in in the morning rather than go to the gym. When the stresses of life kicked in, I simply lost my motivation, I gave in, I gave up. In the end, for my lack of efforts, I gained 70 lbs, I started to feel awful and my blood pressure went back up. My relationships with my wife and friends went out the window. I was a better person back when I paid attention to my health.
It has only been a month but now things are improving, I am back in the gym and back to walking at lunch instead of playing on the internet. My relationship with my wife of 20 years is better than ever and we are starting to rediscover why we were attracted to one an other in tthe first place. Day by day I am climbing back out of this hole. I am feeling better about myself and I am working on improving ME.
I am putting together a new set of goals and rewards. I am back to tracking my progress. I am already starting to feel the benefits of those efforts. The efforts are worth my time. The alternative has been sad and lonely.