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    SETTLERON   16,252
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Reboot - restart - re-motivate

Thursday, July 25, 2013

Ok, so I lost my mind and my motivation. I gained 70 pounds and was really disappointed in myself. My energy was gone and I was embarrased.

As I analyze the reasons, I tend to realize that my apperance was a large factor. When my weight comes back off, I will have a considerable amount of skin... nothing I can do about it but surgery. I have since refocused on the way I felt with those 70 lbs gone. I bounded up the stairs instead of slowly climbing them as I do now. I was happier and more open with others. I want those feelings back. I will live with a little extra skin just to get those feelings back.

Over the last 2 years, I have been under a considerable amount of job stress with multiple projects on my plate and a not so good economy with many friends and neighbors losing their jobs. This all placed a lot of worry in my mind. While things have improved in the project load, I don't see much improvement on the job security front. With that in mind, I am planning on refocusing on family, frineds and what I have. I am decentralizing my job in my life, battening down the hatches on the financial front and placing my priorities on me and my family. With my family around, I cannot fail, so why worry.

In essence, I chose the easy way when things got tough in my life. Instead of going into maintenance, I went into melt down. It was far easier to watch tv and have a snack after work than it is to go out and ride a bike or mow the lawn. It was easier to sleep in in the morning rather than go to the gym. When the stresses of life kicked in, I simply lost my motivation, I gave in, I gave up. In the end, for my lack of efforts, I gained 70 lbs, I started to feel awful and my blood pressure went back up. My relationships with my wife and friends went out the window. I was a better person back when I paid attention to my health.

It has only been a month but now things are improving, I am back in the gym and back to walking at lunch instead of playing on the internet. My relationship with my wife of 20 years is better than ever and we are starting to rediscover why we were attracted to one an other in tthe first place. Day by day I am climbing back out of this hole. I am feeling better about myself and I am working on improving ME.

I am putting together a new set of goals and rewards. I am back to tracking my progress. I am already starting to feel the benefits of those efforts. The efforts are worth my time. The alternative has been sad and lonely.
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

OHMEMEME 7/25/2013 4:37PM

    Transformation is never a perfect ride.

Addiction.
Falling back into old patterns.
Using food to numb emotions.
Using food as a crutch instead of fuel.
Self pity rather than caring for yourself.
Finding courage during weakness.
Finding gratitude amidst troubles.
Accepting the things you cannot change and changing the things you can.
Seek ye first the kingdom of God. Repentance.

The acts of addiction are used to avoid the feeling that you actually need to feel.

YOU CAN FALL WITHOUT FAILING!!!

When you fall you cannot let the shame take control....

(Ideas from Chris on the Extreme weight Loss Makeover TV show)

emoticon

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MJREIMERS 7/25/2013 3:36PM

    It can be very disappointing when we let life "get the best of us" and upset what we've already accomplished. However, you are back on track!

I understand the extra skin issue. After losing my weight and having four kids, I have extra skin! That and time doesn't help with elasticity. I decided just to stand up straighter and use lots of lotion to make the best of what I have.

Good for you for starting the journey to better health again. Good luck and emoticon ! emoticon

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BLUEANGELLK 7/25/2013 2:25PM

    Sounds like a great step toward your goals. It is amazing how job stress can really impact our health. Hang in there.

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SETTLERON 7/25/2013 11:21AM

    Thanks for the words of encouragement. It was truly an eye opener for me. I am a better person when I spark!!! emoticon

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DDHEART 7/25/2013 10:21AM

    I don't think you gave in...well not for the long term..let's say you needed to prove to yourself that the work was worth far more than the ease. So, you had a back slide, a detour and a great chance to see fir yourself that you like the healthier you better than the slug....and we have to like ourselves before we can be our best.

You've taken the move to change this and this time, you know in every part of yourself that this is what you want so you WILL do it. Spark On!

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