I have come to the strong conclusion that perfection is pretty much my worst enemy. I am constantly caught up in the vicious cycle of "if-I-can't-do-it-perfectly-th
can" and then I end up stressed because everything that I want to get done is not getting done. I have a serious problem: this I know! Anyone else suffer from this problem?? Or am I all alone out here on this one? I have decided just today that my main goal in life for the next month is going to be "don't wait to do what you can do right now...even if it isn't perfect". I am pretty sure that one simple goal will take care of a few of my other goals all in one full swoop!
So, in the spirit of not waiting do something, I am going to type up a quick blog update and get it posted. No perfection here. Just a quick update on where I am, what I am doing and most of all some incentive to myself that invariably comes from typing up a blog and posting it on Spark.
So many thoughts running through my head right now, so many things I want to blog about...and hopefully not bore you all in the process!
I'm going to be honest, 2013 has just not been the best year so far. I don't often feel this way, but this year has just been something else. And this month has been no exception. I started out the month with a wonderful 36th birthday celebration. My hubby and daughter worked really hard to make me feel special. It was wonderful! They spoiled me in so many ways and I felt so special! But then.... the very next day, Amanda broke up with her boyfriend of 3 1/2 years. I had no idea it would be so hard on me, let alone her! I felt her pain so deeply that I woke up the next morning with one of the panic attacks that I was getting last fall. They were such a cute couple and after being around and participating in family activities for 3 1/2 years the boyfriend was almost like a son to us. Oh, well! Gotta stay strong and make Amanda my first priority - even though I am cringing inside on her new heartthrob. He has bad guy written all over his actions. Ugh! She is 18 though and going to have to work it all out. And she is a smart girl. She will figure it all out.
In addition to the kid issues, we are also dealing with losing two people from my husband's office to cancer in a pretty sudden, 3-months to live scenario. It is a pretty good reality check. The gal is quite a bit older, but the guy is only 63. Both great people. My grandmother (who has always been a huge support to me) is also dealing with ovarian cancer. Right now she is in the middle of chemo and doing well, but we don't know long term what will happen. I am sure I am just a weak person, but the emotional toll of dealing with everything has been showing itself. That in addition to knowing that Amanda is leaving for college in 6 weeks is causing me some minor depression. I am pretty sure that if I stopped my calming exercise habit I would lose my mind all together.
But in spite of everything that is going on, I really want to make sure that 2013 is a great year in total and I am determined to have fun and make memories and do fun things regardless. And I think a big part of that is not only continuing my workouts, but really focusing on achieving my goals. Even stressful days look better when you fit in a good workout.
I was thinking about it the other day (this thinking was prompted by a blog I read by someone else - I apologize that I can't remember who) about where I will be if I continue my current trend on weight and health, especially considering that I gained a nice 14 pounds last winter and am still struggling to get rid of it. This is a pretty sobering thought. I have no desire to let this trend continue. It has to stop here and now.
No new plans for me really. Just making myself focus on what I have already laid out - and making sure I don't let perfectionism creep in. A 20 minute run is better than no run at all! One on-track meal is better than complete abandonment of my plans, etc. etc. I am going to turn this trend around!
On the fun side of things, I ran the Minor's Jubilee 5k Fun Run last Saturday right in our home town. It was super hot and I was super slow (32:30) but I did finish so I am considering it a win. I will definitely do better next time! And thanks to being out in the sun all weekend I am sporting a decent tan. Liking it!
We also entertained a family friend from across the state all weekend. He is in the middle of a nasty divorce so our goal was to help him have a good time and forget his problems. It was lots of fun! We never go out drinking, but we did this weekend: twice! And I have to admit, it was pretty cool partying with two guys, one on either side of me at the bar, both giving me lots of attention. It did wonders for my ego! We talked, laughed and had a great time all weekend!
With hubby at Bull Riding on Saturday night.
I am going to be traveling this weekend, but am determined to stay on track as much as possible. I will report back on how it goes.
Hope everyone is having a great week!