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Here I Go Again...


Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Hello, SparkPeople. Long time no see! It's a little embarrassing to be doing this again...again...again...but here I am, back in my fat jeans and trying to get in shape. I am the worst yo-yo dieter in that I even fail to maintain my weight in a program that is meant to fix yo-yo dieting. But I won't give up.

Last week, I went to Canada with my family, and it was a huge wake-up call. First off, I was incredibly out of shape on the hikes we took. It got better as the trip went on, but the first few days were really rough. I realized that I have been far too sedentary this summer and even a flight of stairs can be somewhat tiring. Secondly, I have been spoiled by living in the Midwest. I am 5'7" and weigh in at 159 pounds, which puts me right on the cusp of healthy/overweight. In Indiana, I feel like I am on the normal or even thin side because I am surrounded by an overweight/obese culture. In Canada, and around my thin Californian family, I became humiliatingly aware that I was one of the bigger people on the hikes we took. Being around outdoors enthusiasts made me body conscious, and the fact that my mom's 60 year-old boyfriend could out-hike me showed me that I need to turn my life back around. I never stick to SparkPeople or any diet plan long enough to let it be a lifestyle change. I always lose a few pounds and feel content for a while, slowly letting the weight come back on.

So, here I am again. I decided I needed to make a big change to my strategy. Today, I bought a new scale which measure body fat percentage. I tend to compare myself to how the people around me look, but I need to remember that just because I might be an average size where I live, I am not healthy. I also bought a heart rate monitor which will give me a more accurate estimate of the calories I burn during work-outs.

Today was the first time I have ever seen 159 on the scale, and this puts me right at the overweight point on the BMI scale. I need to stop being so delusional as to think that being at the top end of the healthy BMI scale is okay...it isn't! I need to get far far away from that point! According to my new scale, my body fat is 27.2%. That's considered average, but I want to be more lean.

I feel like it's more and more difficult every time I do this. And that sucks because it's hard to do well when you go into something feeling negatively. For instance, my fastbreak nutrition goal is to only drink one soda per day, but I ended up getting a second soda with my two cheeseburger meal at McDonald's for dinner because I thought "well, we all know I won't stick to this anyway, so I might as well just give up now."

I NEED to rely on the SparkPeople community. I feel like I do not have the right attitude going in, and the only thing that will stop me from going off the deep-end is by reviewing everyone else's success. And I will try my hardest to help all the other people out there who are struggling. It's going to be a tough road, but I know I have to do it if I want to feel good about myself again. I don't have any other choice.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post:
ICANLOSEMORE 7/25/2013 10:23AM

    I have been exactly where you are. Here I am at 57 and it is finally clicking with me what a lifestyle change means versus a diet. One of the biggest changes for me this time is the spark coach tool. I go through their little lessons each morning as I get ready for the day. It helps me start the day in a better frame of mind. I also allowed myself the luxury of just starting with a 70 minute per week exercise goal. Not the same as 10 minutes per day because I can skip days and do more on others and it all works out. I am now at 7 weeks of meeting this goal plus (I usually exercise at least 30 minutes at a time now. I rewarded myself with an art class at 6 weeks and have another reward for 12 weeks. The most important change is to stop beating yourself up for slips, allow them in your plan and move on. You are young, you don't want to still be working on this when you are 57. Take the time to take care of yourself now. Your future self will love you all the more.

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SPARKLED146 7/25/2013 8:04AM

    One thing that has helped me is to read one success story each morning. It keeps my motivation high.
Best wishes to you. emoticon

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NIKO27 7/25/2013 6:28AM

    emoticon

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JGLOOR 7/25/2013 1:30AM

    I was on here before too... lost 60lbs and life changed and I lost all my focus.

New beginnings. This time, it's our turn to be a success! :)

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DWROBERGE 7/25/2013 12:48AM

    Keep focused for success.

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SUSANBEAMON 7/25/2013 12:32AM

  now that you have started, concentrate on the journey. you can do it.

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