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    NANA-JEAN   157,619
150,000-199,999 SparkPoints

Day 84/ I am inspired/I am dealing with family issues

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Today I did two spark videos by memory... I almost have them down pat - but I used my X-factor for my strength training instead of just my bands.

I also worked in the yard for a bit.

I got on the scale this morning with dread! But I have maintained my loss.. emoticon emoticon

I am so inspired! Clothes I have not been able to get into for almost 5 years - fit me! Not perfectly yet, but I can get them on and just a few things are tight, my 3/4 sleeves on one shirt have a cute detailed string that is not adjustable, but dangles - just a bit tight, but the shirt fits in other areas - still I put it back in the closet for another few weeks... my one shirt buttons, but there is a tiny gap between two bottons, no thank you - I do not wish to give a peep show, again the rest fits pretty well, again will try on again in a few weeks, but I washed up a few tops that are brand new maybe wore two or three times - they fit me great and I am taking them on vacation!

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I am just plain tired! Running to take care of things for dad, wrapping my brothers leg everyday - I need my vacation! I hope that does not come across wrong, I love helping family, but I need a break!

I am feeling a bit upset with my mom and siblings for not doing MORE for my dad or going to visit him. I am dealing with my feelings and my let downs of family... I can only take care of me and what I can do!!
I try to keep my focus on that! Mom and I are still not really talking - she is still very mad at me. As a PSYCHE major - not only do I have to deal with ME and MY issues, but I have to work through issues with other people - and know my limitations. My mother is TOXIC and I have to have a balance in my life. So I create my balance.

I do not care what I do in this life for my parents - my mother is NEVER pleased - she is always mad at me and blames me for whatever is going wrong in her world. Mind you - my sister moved them out by me for a reason - blah blah blah so many blogs ago... long story short, I was willing and able to help my parents.. no matter where they moved to I did the drive - I did whatever I could to help. There are days my dad says to me - your mother hates me - there are many days I say my mother hates me! I just think it is old age and depression. Half way through my degree - I keep my balance.

Taking care of others takes it toll - I am looking forward to vacation in August - one day I am sitting on the beach and being a BUM!

Thanks for checking out my blog and reading my rant!

God is good!
God Bless you!

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Member Comments About This Blog Post:
THEADMIRAL 7/25/2013 9:12PM

    Whew! You NEED and deserve a vacation, girl! You're being a good daughter even with a toxic parent. Yay you! emoticon

I'm curious, which beach are you headed for? Ya know we live very close to Holland. emoticon

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STRINGI719 7/25/2013 1:31PM

    Nothing wrong with admitting you need a vacation from taking care of everyone & everything.... after all, even the Lord rested on the 7th day! We all need to take times for restoration and refreshment, so that our weary souls can find their rest in Him and come back re-energized and ready to give our all to our many endeavors once again.

Congrats on getting back into some of your smaller clothes!!! SO exciting!

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CALLIEZMOM 7/25/2013 6:17AM

  Jean - it is so important that you maintain your focus on yourself and finding that balance that you're working on while maintaining your support of your parents. Your situation is far from ideal, but I really do think you have sorted out the components of what it will take to keep you centered while dealing with these difficulties. Congratulations on achieving this!

I'm delighted to read you have a beach vacation coming up - a little time just for yourself. Enjoy this and the fresh perspective that stepping out of your situation will provide for you. Be a BUM (as you call it) - it's a healthy investment in yourself and you deserve it!! Maybe someone can wait on you a bit - if only to bring you a cold water!!! emoticon

My thoughts, positive affirmations and prayers go out to you and to your parents. Take good care of yourself so you can help those you so obviously love. emoticon

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    My heart is heavy. I totally understand. Praying for your balance and peace.

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ANHELIC 7/24/2013 11:16PM

    My prayers are with you. You are an inspiration to anyone reading your blog, Jean. emoticon emoticon

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CBEVNOW 7/24/2013 11:14PM

    Thinking of you and prayers for you.

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TURTLETALK 7/24/2013 9:29PM

    Don't forget to take care of yourself while dealing with family!

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LIMBOSTICK 7/24/2013 9:15PM

  god is good all the time and all the time god is good

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