Wednesday, July 24, 2013
Its a pretty day out here in Sin City, the weather isn't looking as bad as I thought it would be this week so far. Today it looks pretty out there, even with the fluffy clouds hovering round. It seems like I am back to evening exercise but its okay as long as I get in those 15,000 or so steps a day then all is right in my world. I'm doing pretty good with those 15 minute bursts of treadmill or stair walking it adds to my steps and gives me a bit more energy all round which is pretty nice. I wouldn't get too mad with myself as long as I am over 13K now because I am pretty much always in that range now. I'm always trying to improve my exercise and fitness goals so I posted this in a birthday challenge post earlier last night.
I'm kayah, early 40's, no children, engaged as of last night when my SO asked me to be his wife, I said yes I would marry him and he sweated it out. I can be a little difficult sometimes lol.
I am 137 pounds (this is down from 140 when I started) and would like to be 125-ish by the end of November, if it takes me till July 2014 that would be bad because my birthday was Monday. I had already set this goal on FitBit but figured extra reinforcement couldn't hurt. I exercise at least 2 hours a day with walking and other activities so I should be able to cross the line by Thanksgiving. Its basically a pound a week. I Walk, do Elliptical, Yogilates, Zumba, Tae-Bo & Dance for exercise right now. It works well for me and my overnight work schedule. I want to reduce sodium and the carbs a little, increase fruit and soup & salad a little more! Get into strength training in September and get up into the 17-18K steps range by mid September. CW-137 GW-125~
So yeah, you read it right, the SO asked me to marry him and I said yes after stalling for a few minutes because I really was surprised he asked me to be married to him. My brain kind of short circuited a little about it for a few moments is why I didn't say anything for a few minutes. I had been married once previously but that didn't work out so I waited a long while before pursuing another relationship. I wanted to make sure I was right with me before wanting to be married again. Marriage is hard work and it seems a lot of people pay more attention to the wedding and not enough thought goes into the being married part. The SO had a fancy wedding the first time round and I saw his picture of how he looked, he wore all Black very sexy and formal. He said he would like to be much more casual this go round. He did say he would like to see me in a white or ivory casual wedding dress. He knows I wore a red Chinese wedding dress when I married the first time. He said red is a nice color but no red please lol. To each his own, so he said would you care what I wear this time and I said as long as you look handsome and not too very casual then I'm fine. (The SO cleans up very well in a suit, very handsome he is.) He said he would wear ivory since I'm wearing ivory, since white makes me look even more ginger than I am! I was thinking a beach type looking dress, ankle length. Not too pricey since its for a few hours. I'll go looking soon.
I'm into having a very casual wedding, not a lot of fuss and crazy. Plus I'm not exactly the most girly girl about weddings and all that hoopla, most of my friends are guys. I like sports, driving fast cars, hiking up a mountain. I'm sort of like a guy in a girl's body really. The SO asked me when do I want to get married & I said not on Valentine's Day. He would like to get married when it is nice and warm but he doesn't want a long engagement since I don't care for a big fancy wedding. So maybe we will get married in October since I do love fall colours and its still pretty nice here during that time. I think a casual low key ceremony and not too long of a reception would be okay in the evening. I like the night A LOT. So its basically the end of July just about so maybe we should just go downtown to a chapel, get tied together and go have dinner somewhere and be good with things. We don't need a reception really because we have everything we need for our place and honestly I don't want people giving us a bunch of stuff we will have 3 of and have to find a place for etc. The SO and I are getting together over the weekend and deciding what we will keep for this house and what will be donated, sold, given away etc. I have a certain decorating scheme in my place but I think we can combine things fairly well. He lives in a furnished place now (it was that way when he moved in so he didn't have to buy furniture and all of that related madness.)
The SO does have some personal pieces that can be integrated nicely from his Mom and what he acquired from life. He has a really cool black and silver chest that can go at the foot of my bed, it fits perfectly with my Victorian Gothic style. He has paintings and some other nice swag that will go here nicely. I don't care for his dishes, silverware and the like but he said he isn't tied to that. He just bought the style because it was on sale at Target lol. Score one for me, but I let him know beyond that part he is free to let me know what he dislikes so we can change it or figure things out. He said he likes my unique Gothic styled self because its different, unique, original. He likes that I have all the appliances, he has one of those K-Cup coffee makers which I find distasteful and way too expensive lol. (No offence anyone) I do pour over coffee since I have one cup a day usually. I have a coffee maker for company since instant coffee is sludge in my view. I had Folgers instant once in an emergency, HORRID!
I don't have a lawn to mow since my yard is pretty much a small area in the front and in the back He is landscaping it. He was out there last night for a good 4 hours installing pipes or whatever it is that he was doing. I was cooking supper so I don't know exactly all the finer details. He likes to go out there when he is wanting physical work. That was work, breaking and shoveling rock out of the way. He was stinky when he came in for dinner and I told him go and shower before we eat because it was bad lol. He did so and came back and after we ate and talked for a while he went home because he was tired. He is coming by a bit later for dinner again and we'll walk together he said to me. The garage is a bit of a disarray since he is bringing some things over of that nature. He sold a few of his items he didn't need anymore or had no use of. He is pretty minimal minus his coffee maker and a toaster oven. He wants to keep that which is fine, my kitchen is a little on the smaller side but its fine because the microwave is up and out of the way. He likes to make pizza and other things like that in a toaster oven. I have 2 refrigerators and he actually owns his fridge so he said he is going to sell his since its about 3 years old but in excellent shape. He will sell it closer to when he moves in October. I seem always to have lived with 2 refrigerator freezer combos and I also have a freezer, crazy. I would like to sell the fridge in the garage or the other freezer, its just too much to have really in my view. A friend nearby needs a new Fridge/Freezer, and she likes the French style, so if she gets a good deal her husband and The SO will cart it over to their place on the other side of town. I'm all for that because its all just too much. I find it wasteful really. Its one of those French type refrigerator freezers. I have the same type in the kitchen but a different make and model, my parents are strange they bought it for me when I already had one. I wasn't stressing myself by not accepting. I pick my battles with them and I wasn't going there for this one lol.
So his 2 know about the engagement and they are both cool with it. When his daughter found out she was like "I want to be the flower girl." I told her so you shall be. She's 9, very pretty and intelligent. The SO told their mother first and she is cool with it. She told me now you can see what he's like when you live with him lol. I know why their marriage dissolved and so I'm not worried about it. The SO is neat, he can cook some things, he is responsible and a man so I have no issues. (She was a little more than high maintenance and always on him about doing more, always doing more. She is a nice enough woman but girlfriend stresses me out with her demanding personality so I minimize my contact with her. My dad was like that while I was growing up and it was more than damaging. Nothing is ever good enough.)
I figure lil girl can be the flower girl, no need for bridesmaids and groomsmen and all that fuss. The SO is going to have his son be his best man which is very good. A casual meaningful ceremony is all that is necessary. Dinner and a little party afterwards is good and off we go to have our wedding trip, DONE! Minimal expense and fuss, I don't have to have drama with other people's opinion about the wedding since SO and I will pay for everything. The ring he gifted me with is just exceptionally beautiful I'll say that. Its a Platinum, 1 carat, Pear shaped African Ruby since I don't like diamonds so much; he knows my taste in rings and jewelry. He asked me to marry him before he pulled out the ring since he knew the ring wouldn't make a difference. He knew by listening to a conversation I had with my sister and mother that if I was to get married again I didn't care to have a say in picking out an engagement ring. I almost feel like a half carat would have been sufficient but the 1 carat is growing on me. I have long slender fingers so it looks fine and he apparently took all that into consideration when deciding what type of ring to get me. I don't know what the wedding ring looks like yet, he says its a surprise for when we get married. The engagement ring was surprise enough, he really does pay attention to the little things about me which I appreciate more than anything in the world. I like it when I don't have to make all the decisions about what to do in life. (I call it the no what do you want to do conversation. I would prefer not to always have to be the one to figure things out in life like where we should go on a date or what movie to see, what kind of food to eat out etc.)
I wasn't curious about the ring & its origin but he did say it was designed for me, he knew he wanted it to be a ruby and in a platinum setting but the jeweler did the rest over the span of a few months. I found that quite touching I let him know and he said that I was worth the extra effort and not having a ring from a common store. He dislikes Jared, Kay's and those types of stores since they are so commercial. He found someone to do what he wanted for a decent price, he finished the story and I did let him know I loved the ring. Funny story, The SO did ask my parents if it was okay to marry me, did they like him well enough to join the family. So they knew he was going to propose to me that evening. My father said "You don't need my permission, you just need my daughter's okay." My mom said to him "Of course you can join the family, we love you and the kids. Kayah can be difficult you know and strong willed." SO tells my mom I know she is strong and full of fire but she's nothing like my demanding ex." I heard that Monday night and laughed so hard. I treat SO like he is a man, he doesn't need me to be all over his case, second guessing him or never giving him comfort or rest from the world like his ex. He's a man I don't need to change him. If you go into a relationship or marriage expecting to change someone that is very bad times. You can only change yourself right? The only thing I won't tolerate is disrespect and fighting. Its one thing to disagree but drag down fighting is very bad and I won't do it. The SO knows this and he knows about my growing up with parents who had knock down drag out fights when my dad was an alcoholic. He is basically the same without the violence and drinking so I limit myself so I don't have flashbacks and get into depressive mode like I used to. Growing up until my late 20's I was angry at life and the world. Somehow I let it go but it can come back to me sometimes at the strangest times. I forgave it all for me and not for him!
I like the deeper fall colours like I said and I didn't have a bouquet I liked when I married the first time so I'll have a smaller one this time surely....
I feel I am doing well with exercise, I could do a little bit better with food, I get enough liquid in and work is going well. My energy level is pretty decent for being an overnighter. The SO works from 730-430 thereabouts so we do have opposite schedules but it does work for us. That is pretty important to a good relationship, we just don't stress the small stuff!
I have a big project I am working on for work, it should run quite a period of time. It has to do with translation and its all I can say about that. When I accepted my position I did so with the caveat of always being discreet and very careful of letting others know about the work we do. I've never ever had issue with that because I am a private person by nature, very introverted. I also help a college professor write a medical textbook. That is another position that requires discretion. I would have liked time to be able to volunteer at the library & animal shelter but that won't happen until next year, I don't want to spread myself thin to the end of the year. Around April of next year I should be able to get into some volunteer work like I would care to add to my life.
The SO wants to get a dog but my cat he's not going to go for it. My cat is just getting used to others being around in the house and he likes the SO, kids and me but he's wary of most people. He came when he was a baby cat, he was a stray with his mom and she went off into the woods and died in Louisiana where I was before. I kept him and he is a very good cat, if you tell him NO firmly he stops what he is doing wrong if he ever does something that would hurt him. He is an indoor/outdoor cat because he isn't happy when he has to stay indoors so I won't deprive him that. Plus he is a wise cat, he is 5 and his breed can live a very long time it seems. If a dog wouldn't bother him so much I wouldn't mind but it would very much bother him so for now I said no dog please. I would love a dog again, he could go on walks with me and be a good watchdog. In the future I said we could do it & he would have to be highly trained and obedient to stay out of the cat's way because he has run of the house. He pretty much goes in and out when he likes to which is mainly at night, since the day is so hot. Plus he was here first. Dogs are much more work than my cat, I know I grew up with 2 German Shepard's and I did most of the work associated with caring for them.
So things are going well and changes are coming and I will do my best to stay on top of me so I stay healthy, strong, happy and good with life~