Wednesday, July 24, 2013
Good Morning; it is very early. I am not able to calm my mind down. The decision has been made that we need to focus on DS. We all love the baby but it comes with baggage the mom. Ever since the decision was made, ticket bought and everything packed, they have been working together - acting like a team - hugging and interacting with the baby. Like kids, they do not change until there is no choice.
But DH & I feel with GF and baby here, DS will not focus on his health and PTSD.
The only way this is all working; we are saying that this is temporary for 6 months.
This is how immature GF is- I just found out that she wanted a cat and DS gave her a cat to be happy. She does not take care of the animals when she gets them. When I found this out, I counted to 3 and then I outlined all the pets that they have had and given away when both of them would not managing them well. Any way, we are taking GF and baby to airport and have to go to Killeen to give cat to some who wants it on craigs list. DS will be giving up his apt and moving back home to live. With PTSD, We feel that he will get more depressed without his daughter if he is alone. This all came to a head which was this weekend. I did not realize what a panic attack is like until I saw DS have one. He actually just dropped to the floor and it looked like he was going to have a seizure. I got on the floor and just held him and talked to him.
The puppy immediately came over and started licking his face and getting under his arm - this is why he needs a service dog. When I saw and experienced what a panic attack is, I said I said a prayer. God, I think this is what I must do be my son's battle buddy. A peace came over me. My son needs help - I am the one who is enlisting for duty. It will be hard and I will need your all support. I may not be on all the time, but my goal is to be on as much as possible. I want others to read and get help from this experience. We are still trying to navigate the process of where his benefits are. But I feel strong for today, I am going to take it one day at a time. I am also going to work with my exercise and eating well. I have actually lost weight since this weekend. I am eating well - good food. I am getting back to the gym. I got side tracked due to trying to get every arranged for GF and baby.
I feel better just writing this. I am going to try to get a little more sleep. TY