I have been thinking about this blog for several weeks and have decided that today is the day to share my thoughts. I will talk about my troubling areas and how I am dealing with them. I continue frustrated that no weight is coming off. Yes, I know about muscle replacing fat and I do hope that is part of what is happening. I am not doing much in the way of cardio but the years of long-distance walking did nothing for weight loss, so I am not going to put myself out for cardio right now. I am doing strength training every morning and an occasional cardio session.
What I have decided to do is what I know I must to maintain good spiritual, mental, and physical health. I would like weight loss, too, but if that is not going to happen without spending money, well, that will no longer be my main focus. I am tired of stepping on the scale and measuring with the tape measure only to find no or very little difference. I will try my best not to use these measurement standards any longer, at least not regularly.
I have been with SparkPeople for 7+ years. I know the answers given for all my questions in regard to weight loss. The only things suggested that I have not tried are gym membership and a personal trainer, which I cannot afford.
1. I continue to work on negative thoughts and am finally beginning to see progress in that area. I have hoped against hope to find resolution and with the resolution to lose the negatives from my head. But, so many times no resolution has worked out or been found, and so, the negatives have stayed. It is a very hard thing to realize and recognize that some bothersome things cannot be changed. I can imagine that many who read this will take it as pessimism. Maybe it is but the things of which I am referring are things that have not changed in many, many years. I have changed. These particular battles have not. I gave up putting forth so much time and effort on them. If they are to change, God will hafto do it; I have not been able to.
2. I will stop tracking food, at least for a while. I had stopped for a period of time and picked it up again just to be certain of how much control I actually have in choosing good food options and in measuring how much I am eating. I have been on track for months. Something needs to give and since I am sure of myself about this, I will stop for a time.
3. I will continue to read, read, read when I can take the time about exercise, nutrition, recipes that fit my plan, and mental development. I will continue with my plan for spiritual development. I should complete my formal study program by the end of 2014. By then I hope to know the next step.
4. I have some personal hurdles that I keep knocking down instead of jumping over. That's just a picture of how I see it. I have found some helpful reading in regard to these and will keep working to get them resolved or at least left behind. At this point in my life, in my sixth decade, I do know what the hurdles are and I am comfortable now realizing that I must let them go. I believe these things were used to make me who I am today so I may refer to them in the future. Yet, these things have weighed me down for far too long and I do not need them to be part of my life any longer. I admit that a couple of things will be dreadfully hard to release. A couple of things cannot actually be set aside but I now see the wisdom in moving them to the side rather than the forefront of my focus in life.
5. I am grateful for those (in person and online) who have been an encouragement to me as I continue to pursue a more positive outlook and find ways to use my strengths. Making hard choices would have been harder without you. I am glad that I joined SparkPeople these many years ago. I have discovered many helpful articles that have helped me to understand more about my personal views and outlook and especially how to better focus on what I hope to gain in this lifetime. The various teams that I joined have helped me through many challenges and tough spots along the way. I cannot imagine how I would have made it so far without the many long-distance friends that I have not met in person but who have pushed, cajoled, and walked along side me. Thanks to each one.
6. I enjoy the SparkPeople website and will continue to share it with others. At times, I may cut back on the amount of time I spend here, but I will keep returning. I have a streak going and may pick up another as time goes on. Right now, as of today, I have completed 157 days of logging in and spinning the SparkWheel (that will soon beat the previous 169 day streak). Tomorrow I will beat my longest exercise streak of 191 days in a row!!!
The Serenity Prayer
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.