Tuesday, July 23, 2013
I don't like that I haven't lost more weight during this seven weeks.
I can tell you that I am already thinking about how long the break is in between rounds. Since this is my first BLC, I'm not exactly sure.
I know I will NOT lose what I predicted prior to start of BLC22, but if I can double what I have lost so far and not gain...that is success. Week 6 was a gain, the first I've had since August 2012. It was mainly water retention and vacation food, but it's been hard getting it off.
Without surgery or drugs, I have no idea how some can lose 5-10 pounds in a week....I can't even imagine I have that much time in a day to work out, eat, and have a life with my family. It absolutely boggles my mind.
I am not comparing my losses to others, but am just questioning how...that's all. How?
I have 30-40 more pounds to lose and these piddly one and two pounds just make me angry. I thought I would be closer by now to my goal. But I have had major surgery and recovery...as well a vacation, ah the dreaded vacation. I love them. I need them...but the recovery from them is uphill.
I am just getting this off my chest, stomach, hips...It's just a rant.
My nemesis ate herself to a weight that insurance said, "Ok, you can have lapband and we'll pay for it." She has lost 80-90 pounds....with a band keeping food out of her stomach. Her skin is hanging off her body, she has lost 25% of her hair thickness, her skin is sallow and by losing this weight it didn't change her or make her happy like she thought...she is still a B____H. She is now in the process of trying to get insurance to pay for a body resculpt to cut the the hanging skin off her body. She pays out of pocket hundreds of dollars for the medical staff (NOT THE DOCTOR) to tighten her lapband so she can eat less. She eats tomato soup, broth and drinks copious amounts of wine.
Now to me, I lose a pound, gain it back, lose two pounds, gain back one. IT IS A VICIOUS CYCLE. However, I don't have skin hanging off my body...it's there but there is muscle under it. I am not losing my hair it is still thick and glossy. My skin is rosy. But I'm still classified Obese. With a BMI of 31. AUGH!
So, once again, I will pull my BIG pink panties up and throw my chest out, back straight and stomach in and MARCH. I will do those 100 crunches, the Warrior Workout, and then tomorrow in my birthday suit I will step PROUDLY onto the dreaded scale and TAKE WHATEVER it gives me. I will know in my heart and soul that I CAN DO THIS. I ALONE (well with my Spark Friends) do this without gimmicks, weight loss surgery, drugs that curb the appetite. I WILL DO THIS THROUGH THE SHEER STRENGTH OF MY BEING.
That's all. Thanks for reading, sorry about the rant, but I had to get it out of my system.