It's like a little miracle, this abstinence, this is so sweet and I am so very grateful.
Tonight I picked up a 90 day chip at my meeting, it was great, I almost cried. I've had
other 90 day chips, but its been YEARS! And never as sweet as this one, I have it sitting right
where I can see it now, another little nudge to keep doing the next right thing, the next footstep along this path to a healthier life. Thats what recovery is all about really, sane and useful living, with a body to match, and a soul that sings. Being uber abstinent for 90+ days makes things VERY clear.
I feel like about a million bucks! I give ALL the credit to my Three P's, which are my plan of action....... they are: Prayer, Paleo and Pool. Throw in 12 steps and a tool box full of goodness and a group of friends who are proving to be INdispensable, and I am a very lucky lady tonight.
I want to keep this attitude of gratitude, I am grateful for this chip tonight, grateful for feeling JOY again, grateful I am not stuffed with UNhealthy crap food as I prepare to go to bed tonight.
Footwork helps so much, figuring out a food plan I can actually live with that actually helps me release weight, and an exercise program to boot, working the steps following an amazing big book study online, and all in a short time, a sponsor who has given me some precious time, and all the rest, the recipe is success. It will always work if I work for it.
The biggest thing of all for me was giving up the fight. I had to stop trying to control everything myself and ask for help and there it was, the food plan came from OUTside me, the idea to go to the pool most days sure was not mine, going back to meetings, all of this was NOT my idea, my idea is to stop at a fast food joint, to overeat alot of sugar then salty foods and go to bed in a stupor of haze, to wake up feeling miserable and getting sicker and sicker.
Now I get to wake up and take less medicine, NO insulin at all, very little diabetes drugs, and less pain meds than in years too. And I have cut in half the heart med now cause it is making my pulse TOO slow! WOW! I get to wake up now and want to go workout and a gulp GYM.
Believe me this is NOT the natural me, this is something outside myself, helping me to do the next right thing, and it is working, and I am NOT in control of it, I surrendered to the need for help and it was there, I made a decision to release control and was given the power to do this and more.
I am excited, I feel happy, I feel love for a process that is amazing. I am so very grateful to every single person who has helped and encouraged me and been there for me. I love you.