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    LADYNEST   8,119
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Emotional eating


Monday, July 22, 2013

I am an emotional eater. Big time. Right now, I am incredibly stressed out with finances and facing the fact that if I don't hear about gainful employment in the next few days, we will have to move out - and in with our respective parents as we can't live together with either of the parental folks. I hate it. It frustrates me. and... I want to eat. A lot.

I want to make no bake cookies and eat the lot of them. I want to bake a cake or just have something filled with tasty tasty calories that will add more weight to my already overwhelmed frame.

This is a horrid feeling - this internal war. The war of what I want - having something to eat that is not healthy versus life. I know that this is a battle for my life. I don't mean that just in the sense of being able to do things - like go camping and getting into and out of an air mattress, or having clothing that fits; I mean it in the sense of life - being alive. Living life. Not putting my family or friends through the pain that my premature death would cause. That is what I am fighting this war for.

I have to keep telling myself that. Life is better than no bake cookies.

It sure is better than looking at the numbers on the scale... which I looked at for the first time in quite awhile. It was a shock. It was horrible. It was another wake up call.

No wonder I feel like I am lumbering. Like I should have a crane to get out of a chair. I am carrying approximately 292 lbs of extra weight on my 5'2" frame. No wonder I feel horrible so much.

The worst part - I did this to myself. It may not have been conscious, but I did it. Now, I am making the conscious choice to change it.

Fat may have won the battles over the years, but by all the Gods - I will win the war.
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HHLTD1 7/24/2013 12:05AM

    I too am an emotional eater and it doesn't even matter what emotion so I feel your frustration. However I know we can both get there we just need to keep at it and never give up.
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NEWFLABULESS 7/23/2013 11:47AM

    Great job on blogging about your desire rather than giving into it! Keep praying and the right door will open for you. Maybe if you attached a dollar figure on baking and how you can't afford it right now, that might help to readjust your focus as well. You've got this....just keep your chin up and stay positive.

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RAINBOWCHOC 7/23/2013 6:01AM

    it is very hard to keep going when things seem to be going against you. Emotional eating is so prevalent amongst Spark people, we wouldn't be here otherwise!

I wonder what it takes to become a person who cannot eat when they worry. If you find out what it is please let me know, then bottle it and make a fortune, lol.

So we keep going, one "better" choice at a time, they cannot always be "good" but one serving is better than the whole thing.

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LADYNEST 7/22/2013 10:59PM

    JPUMA62 - oh yeah, I don't need to actually bake the cake - just eat the batter. I mean, it has been too hot to fire up the oven.... Hence the no bake cookies - it's just the stovetop for a little while. and it's oatmeal! Oatmeal is healthy! Peanut Butter isn't horrible! Just ignore the sugar... and the butter....

*sigh* I want... but am determined not to have --- UNLESS I can make it and give 90% of it away to someone else. I need a bake sale somewhere to cook for....

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JPUMA62 7/22/2013 10:25PM

    I'm an emotional eater as well and today I feel much like you do; stressing over finances, etc. I have a box of brownie mix in the cupboard that is just calling my name. Not to bake it, just mix it and eat.....but that will defeat my whole purpose for being here!
You really helped me just now! I feel like I'm not alone in this emotional rollercoaster....
I'm starting over with Sparkpeople after losing 30 lbs with Jenny Craig in 2011. I started at 265 back then and now my starting point is 235...with a goal of 180 or less. I too am lumbering along at 5ft exactly, with aching knees, back and feet.
Thanks for your honesty and I'm right there with ya sister, just trying day by day to eat healthy and feel better as we both lose this "luggage" that we've packed for ourselves.....

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MKRETIRED 7/22/2013 10:20PM

  Yes you will. Stay focused and press on.

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