Monday, July 22, 2013
I've had 3 serious boyfriends in my life. As of last Saturday they every last one of them talked about marriage, and then left me. There's a distinct possibility I'm developing a complex.
But that's not the point right now.
The point is, after the first two there was a brief period where it felt like there was a hole in my chest, so empty I actually didn't know how I would carry on with my life. It was months before I could even think about them without ugly crying, and I wasted a good deal of time day dreaming about them realising what they'd lost and running back to me.
But this time I'm fine. I've cried of course, but I suspect that has more to do with the fact that I'm now 25 and single when it was in my life plan to be married and have at least one child by now, and I have absolutely no idea where I'm going to find someone who will even look at me twice never mind marry me. But there is no chest-hole. My life is carrying on just fine. I'm clearly already quite a way toward getting over him.
Which leads me to the point. I do still (just barely) believe in The One; that one person who is such a good match for you that the thought of them not being in your life is just impossible. So maybe it's for the best that bf left me, because I've adjusted to not having him in my life in just under two days. He's clearly not the one.
I just wish I hadn't wasted so much time trying to convince myself he was.