Monday, July 22, 2013
I have been in such a weird place in my head for several weeks now. I haven't been eating right and I haven't been working out at all. I've taken Daughter to the pool a few times and swam laps while she goofed off, but other than that, nothing. Of course just about every single moment of every single day I am thinking, "Really? When are you going to get back on track?" and pointing out every single bad decision I'm making. It's been really weird. It's never been like this before. Today I had to drop Daughter at an appointment (which I knew would only be an hour at the most), so I decided that would be a good time to go workout. I went to the gym and worked out on the Pre-Cor (elliptical) for 30 minutes. I burned 318 calories! (SparkPeople's fitness tracker is really inaccurate -- whatever the equipment at the gym says, SP's tracker is always off by dozens of calories, either in one direction or the other, but I enter it anyway to show myself what I've done). I must admit, it feels good. I'm proud of myself that I worked out. I have been so danged resistant lately and I need to get rid of all that. It's so not good for me. I have had this huge weight hanging over me lately. It's like I can actually feel this pressure all over my body, from the anxiety of all this. I have sixty pounds to lose, and I know I won't get to my goal if I don't put forth any effort. So far, today has been a good day, I have kept to my goals today...so far! Today isn't over yet! it's only 3:23pm so there is still loads of time to screw things up. But I'm just going to keep taking it bit by bit, and keep moving forward.