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    RECREATING_ME   12,133
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Feelings of Worth

Sunday, July 21, 2013

I have to say that I am glad that I got back into blogging and that I am working harder to go beyond the surface with my weight-loss journey. In addition to the much-appreciated support, there have also been some comments that have given me reason to pause and consider how they relate to me.

In my last post, both DAUGHTEROFTWIN and HEYITSLISA mentioned worthiness, as in me believing that I am worth the time and effort that it will take to lose weight. In reading their comments, I became emotional; those feelings showed me what a stumbling block this issue is for me.

In a very direct way, this ties to how I have led my life putting everyone and everything before me. If I could help another person, that would make me worth more. Problem is, I could never do enough. Plus, if I were to spend time focusing on me, I would be taking away from helping others, which then makes me feel worth less and guilty!

Cognitively, I know how messed up this is. I used to work at a nonprofit that provided resources for individuals who cared for their loved ones, and we regularly counseled them to take time for themselves so they would avoid “compassion fatigue.” This is a very similar situation here. To be able to serve others to the best of my ability, I need to serve myself, too. It just makes sense. Unfortunately, reason goes out the window when the guilt sets in.

Saying “no” when someone asks for my help is a very difficult thing for me, even if saying “yes” will leave me exhausted. And the message I am reinforcing every time I do this is that the person requesting something of me is worth more than I am, that I don’t deserve to spend time doing things to rejuvenate my body and soul.

This cycle has to stop, not only for me, but for my kids. With the fact that they pick up on everything, I don’t want them internalizing this and making the same mistakes I have. They are worth infinitely more than that. And, yes, so am I.
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DDOORN 7/21/2013 9:24PM

    Each of us has SO much more to offer the world and to ourselves than merely to be helpful to others. Finding and celebrating ourselves also serves as a great role model for our children as well.

One foot ahead of the other: you are doing it! :-)

Don

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HEYITSLISA 7/21/2013 5:27PM

    emoticon

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_BABE_ 7/21/2013 3:02PM

    I am always surprised when others let me know I am enough and I don't have to do something for them....but how many times does one need to be told that before they believe it ...I mean really believe it themselves?

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LISACHOSECHANGE 7/21/2013 2:48PM

    Alot of us have the same issue ...not feeling worthy. Weightloss is selfish but that is ok. We have to take time to eat well and exercise.It is ok to say no. Real friends will understand the others will disappear or say that being thinner has changed you but it is a good thing. We need to put oourselves first for a change.

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PAPASNAPDRAGON 7/21/2013 2:22PM

    Very Very Good you are on the right road now baby Like the little blue fish said in Finding Nemo Just keep swimming , just keep swimming , just keep swimming well you get the idea. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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