Advertisement -- Learn more about ads on this site.


    WEEPINGANGEL74   64,917
SparkPoints
60,000-79,999 SparkPoints
 
 

I need you SparkFriends....


Sunday, July 21, 2013

I have been REALLY struggling lately and got about as far off track as I could (not intentionally). I haven't been a binge eater ever that I can recall but out of nowhere and I mean nowhere, my body wanted bad food and there was nothing that I could do to avoid it. Even the good food, I couldn't get enough of. I would intend to eat one protein bar and I would find myself surrounded by 3 wrappers and that was AFTER I had already eaten a meal.

emoticon emoticon

This has never and I mean never happened to me before and I don't know why it did now. I have a suspicion that hormones were involved and still could try to rear their ugly head (ladies, I think you know what I mean. Gentleman, sorry). It was a truly scary time and the entire time I knew it was bad and wrong and each morning I would say o.k. that's it, get serious and then something else took over. It really, truly scared me and I needed help but me ask for help.... not easy to do.

But TODAY is the day....back on plan, back on fitness, time to get serious again and emoticon s this is me asking for help; asking for support; asking for whatever you can give me. Please....

I was so proud of myself for hitting that 40 pounds lost mark this time around, 80 pounds total, and realizing that for the first time in years I was getting close to my goal size and weight and was starting to even have moments where I was thinking I wasn't so horrible to look at. I was enjoying those feelings and was feeling good about me. Than disaster. I want to get back to that, I want to hit my goal and enjoy wearing clothes and I need to feel good about me.

emoticon


SHARE
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JPGSMOM 7/22/2013 9:19PM

    I can relate to absolutely EVERYTHING you are saying here. Binging is an incredibly powerful thing that can completely take over everything logical without you even realizing it is happening. It's happened to me before... More times than I'd like to admit, and guilt ultimately floods over me afterwards. You are courageous in asking for help. It takes strength to reach out through a dark time like this. You are not alone. The best thing I've found for recovery is to not beat yourself up. Instead try to analyze what the trigger was in order to try to prevent it from happening again. This journey is a learning process, and like so many other things, sometimes failures are our best teachers. Tomorrow is a new day, and full of promise for making the right decisions again. Take care and keep going! Together we can do it!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
SHERRY28269 7/22/2013 4:10PM

    You've recognized the warning signs and are getting back on track. Don't beat yourself up...just take one day at a time and you will get back on track! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
SWEET_CAROLYN 7/22/2013 1:08PM

    EM3774, do not worry!! We have ALL had these moments, these times where we struggle with what we want to do.

Do not feel like a failure. You haven't failed - you have fallen. And now, you are getting back up, dusting yourself off, and starting back. And that is EXACTLY what you need to do. You won't let yourself give up - you have lost FORTY POUNDS. That is HUGE. That is one of those huge dog food bags!!

emoticon

I know you feel bad about it, but you are a great and wonderful person. You made a mistake, but the mistake isn't you. You are still great and wonderful and will hop back onto plan and keep moving.

emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
SOOVERMYSELF 7/21/2013 11:28PM

    Oh my goodness let's look at ALL you have accomplished so far! 80 lbs! That is Amazing! We all fall down sometimes but you have picked yourself back up so don't dwell on yesterday. You know you can do this! And you deserve to feel PROUD! Give yourself a big hug, tomorrow is a brand new day! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
MYKIDSRSWEET 7/21/2013 3:26PM

    I have had days like that. I try hard to suffer through it and the cravings seem to disappear by the next day. Hope you can stay on track and get to your goals,

Report Inappropriate Comment
CHERYL_ANNE 7/21/2013 2:27PM

    You're getting in your own way.
Why?
In your heart of hearts, what is the answer you come up with?
emoticon
Kudos to you for recognizing this and realizing you have to do something about it instead of resigning yourself to being mired there!
emoticon

I know when I asked myself the same question, my answer was fear. Then, I saw an article that helped gel my thoughts better for me and I was able to express my fears.

This is the post I made: Two Brief Articles I Want To Share
http://www.sparkpeople.com
/mypage_public_journal_individu
al.asp?blog_id=5418735

The three fears mentioned are the same ones that I struggle with on my journey to becoming the healthiest I can be.

- Fear of success in weight loss because the protective layer I had when I was heavier will not be there to insulate me.

- Fear of failure because I have lost the protective layer and everyone now sees the "me that was always there" and will be scrutinizing me to see if I fail.

- Fear of loss because it changes everything I have come to believe about myself and I have been forced to confront issues and behaviors that made me Emotionally Eat, and, other people's jealousy - because now that I have lost weight their perception of me is different and their self-comparisons, self-judgements, and self-issues can come to the surface and could make things unpleasant.

Now your answer might not be the same as mine. But you will have an answer when you ask yourself the question and honestly answer it. And once you come up with it, we can help you brainstorm it!
emoticon

Comment edited on: 7/21/2013 2:28:56 PM

Report Inappropriate Comment
CLUEINGFORLOOK8 7/21/2013 1:53PM

    We have all had those times. My weight loss has gone from 30 lbs total to 10. Do you have a plan going forward? I will do all I can to help!

Report Inappropriate Comment
MRSKATEDUVALL 7/21/2013 1:41PM

    I can relate, the feeling good and then the urge to self sabotage. I try and spark when the urge to eat in the evening hits. I also get the whole hormone thing. I want to curl up and whine about cramps, but life still goes on and I have chores to do to get ready for the week. Carry On, we must!

Report Inappropriate Comment

Add Your Comment to the Blog Post


Log in to post a comment.
 


Other Entries by WEEPINGANGEL74