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    MEZZED   17,031
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Gained 37 lbs over 9 mos & lost 12 lbs since my last weigh in

Saturday, July 20, 2013

20.JULY.2013 - 10.09 AM

According to SP, I've lost 12 Pounds. Sometime in the last 2 months, I must have stepped on the scale & seen that I had gained back the 37 lbs that I lost last year when I was on the physician monitored HCG & 500 cal diet plan. Although it certainly did jump start my weight loss I didn't have the $600 to continue another 12 weeks worth of injections, f/u visits, etc.

From 218 lbs back to 255 lbs, how did that happen? 500 cal. nutrition + HCG = Starvation although I did learn how to eat & take simple pleasures in life (you have to when you are only eating 500 cal & are told NOT to exercise).

Simple pleasures = eating 1/2 a white peach or munching on 2 stone-ground wheat crackers.

That diet may have messed with my higher brain functions since 500 cal just isn't enough if your job requires you to perform complex calculations. Could be the reason why I wasn't hired for that temp job last summer.

Since June 12th, I've been attending a local *boot camp* style fitness regimen run by a friend of my younger brother. Twice a week, I attend a class where people who are in much better shape than I, spend time w/ Pete, his brother, LJ, and Nick at Krank Systems in Nutley, NJ doing body weight exercises to strengthen core muscles & a full body workout.

Actually, it was a birthday gift to me from my brother as it costs approximately $23 per session to attend Krank. It's a really supportive environment considering most of the "Kranksters" have been attending for more than 3 years & seem like everyone knows each other. It looks like a close knit group of people but I'm not really sure since I don't interact with anyone.

If you were to attend the same session that I go to, when we run, you'll notice that I'm dead last. When we do exercises, I'm usually the last one to finish up and I don't cut corners.

It is difficult though when you overhear people make comments like: "Sounds like someone's dying" and immediately think that they are referring to you. Maybe I'm just being paranoid or perhaps I do sound like I'm dying when I'm exhausted & out of breath, forcing myself past my limitations to improve my fitness. Who else could they be referring to considering that I'm the most out of shape person there?

Regardless of what they say or think, I'm not there to make friends or impress them. I'm there to break past my own barriers. I'm there for me, my survival & it was only 1 person. Everyone else I've encountered doesn't seem to be as mean but again, I don't really interact with anyone since for me, it takes enough control just to have the courage to show up & work out with a bunch of people who are healthier, better looking, & in better shape than you are.

Maybe when I'm closer to my weight goal, I'll have more confidence about interacting with people. While I'm not ashamed or embarrassed, I just don't have anything to talk about & like I mentioned already, I'm already stepping outside of my comfort zone in order to even attend a session with these people at Krank.
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ANNESYLVIA 7/22/2013 8:24PM

    Sounds like a "Cross-fit". Cross-fit members go to "the Box" as opposed to "the gym".

I am pretty impressed that you took the initiative to make the pretty tough effort to join such a place. I say this because last April, May & June I was at my healthiest, strongest and least amount of weight since I gained all the weight from kids, stress, etc...and I though about joining a Cross fit Box. I even found one in my own neighborhood. But when the time came to actually joined I was too nervous. Needles to say I am proud of you Derek!

Way to go!

take care, Anne

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ALICIA214 7/20/2013 12:29PM

 


emoticon I think you are much stronger than you give yourself credit for you
have taken a huge step to get healthy.If I might venture a guess I would say you have
a defensive shield erected to protect yourself and I say this because that was my go
to for many years my problem was painful shyness which came across as me being a
snob.I became a flight attendant to try and open up to people after all it is difficult to
avoid others in a confined space when you are more than thousand feet up in the air.
I wish you much success on your weight loss journey and some friends within your group.

emoticon emoticon



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SANDY_52 7/20/2013 12:14PM

    I totally understand where you're coming from. Joining a gym two years ago was one of the hardest things I've ever done. I was up to 238 pounds, the highest I've ever been, and knew I had to do something to get myself under control. Fortunately, the gym I attend has a good variety of young/old, fat/thin/in-between, so I don't feel so out of place.

But you are so right that you are there for *you*, so just keep going, and soon you'll be able to keep up with all the rest of them. Good luck! emoticon

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