Saturday, July 20, 2013
I start a new job on Monday. I'm hoping it will be less stressful, and the hours more regular, so I can find time to exercise and won't be too stressed to diet.
Years ago, while I was working as a cardiac cath lab tech and had just gotten accepted to medical school, a doctor I worked with said that time, between the acceptance and starting med school, would be the least stressful time of the entire rest of my life, and if I was ever going to lose weight, that would be a good time. I lost 45 lbs before med school started, only to put 30 back on during the first semester.
I'm in a weekend between jobs and this should be a wonderful three days: good job to go to but no responsibilities this weekend. But my younger (21 year old) daughter just bought a motor scooter, and I worry every time she goes out, and my 5 year old grandson is going back and forth between Mom (my older daughter) and Dad and I worry about him. He's starts kindergarten this year and I think that's especially hard for boys and his speech is sometimes hard to understand. My daughter and her husband (2nd) and my grandchildren (age 1 and the 5 year old) moved out of my house and into a nice rental house 3 months ago and now she's lost her job, which is putting a lot of stress on her husband and their marriage. I just seem to worry all the time, and it's wearing me out.
I've made this sort of job change before, from major administrative position back to hands on patient care. After a year or two of administration I get frustrated at what I can't accomplish. After a year or two of patient care, I get bored and look for a new challenge. I did patient care for 22 years, before I started getting restless like this. At my age, my mother had already been retired for 9 years. Since I started my family late, and since I don't have enough saved to retire, it will be at least 6 years before I can even cut working down to part time. And I worry about that. The anxiety level is just so high. And that makes it hard to do the things I need to do for me: eat right, get enough sleep, exercise, pray/meditate. Obviously, the new job is not going to fix all this.
I'm whining, I know. I have wonderful daughters and grandchildren and a roof over my head and food on the table and a good job to go to and a good income and I'm afraid all the time. Someone once said "Having children is having your heart outside your body for the rest of your life". But that should be a joy, not all this distress.
Well, enough whining. Time to try to get this day on the road. Besides, my daughter wants to use the laptop.
And life goes on.