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Letting yourself go: How to bring yourself back?

Saturday, July 20, 2013

Today I saw perhaps the most beautiful woman I've ever seen in my life. She was so simple, but so gorgeous and elegant at the same time. She had her slightly wavy hair pulled back into a low ponytail, and she had on a boatneck red and white striped top with some navy shorts/coolots on, sunglasses, and a pair of flats. She didn't have on a ton of makeup, wasn't wearing an evening gown...nothing like that. She was VERY pretty, but she was just so fresh and simple and well-groomed. She was standing on a sidewalk, waiting to cross a street as I drove by in my car. She caught my attention and I truly could not take my eyes off her (which was probably a bad thing since I was driving...Fortunately I could only see her for a few seconds). I also saw several other women over the next few minutes that were also very pretty, very well put-together. I cleaned two houses today, so I was in my work clothes. Sweaty and grubby. Of course I spent the rest of the day, off and on, feeling kind of lousy about myself...and at the same time, somewhat motivated.

I'm one of those people who has really "let herself go." I used to be more stylish, I did my hair and makeup every day, got my hair trimmed every six weeks without fail. I either did my own nails and did my own hair (color, highlights, etc) or had it done. I paid attention to my appearance, but I wasn't obsessed about it like some women are. I actually went clothes shopping pretty regularly, adding new pieces to my wardrobe.

I'm at the point now that I just wear clothes for comfort. I don't have any pretty clothes anymore, except for just a couple of dresses. All of my clothes are super casual. You know the clothes you wear on a rainy day when you're stuck at home and not going anywhere? Sweats or yoga pants and a tee shirt? That's my every day wardrobe. I don't even really wear makeup anymore.

I really want to get myself back. But...I don't have money to go out and buy new clothes right now. I have a hard time thinking about shopping for clothes when I'm trying to lose weight it's some kind of waste. I have just really lost my sense of style and it makes me feel really sad sometimes. Like I'm just this blah-blob of a person. Like I'm just there. I keep thinking that losing weight and getting in shape will give me confidence as well as a better body for clothes...but then I don't take myself to the gym like I should and I don't eat like I should.

How do you start to get yourself back after losing yourself SO LONG AGO? What's the first step? How does one do this? Any advice?

It's past my bedtime as it is. I'm just going to sleep on it. I know I will wake up tomorrow feeling refreshed and renewed and ready to take on a new day...and a new start.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I agree with everyone you have to love yourself first. After that everything else will fall into place. Take it one day at a time.

    1676 days ago
    Thank you, everyone, for sharing...and for offering kind words of support and encouragement.
    1676 days ago
    You have to start to love your self AS YOU ARE NOW! I have been overweight my entire adult life accept for a few years when I was in my twenties. I am still battling the weight with little success. I am often frustred with myself and my lack of progrres. However, I decided a long time ago to that would try to dress to look the best I can in the body I'm in. For me that means buying a few outfits that fit at the weight I am currently at. Walmart has some nice plus size tops & pants. I also like jewelry, so I buy inexpensive simple earrings & bracelets to wear. Take the time to give yourself a manicure and color your hair. Start wearing make-up again, at least a little mascara & lip stick. There may even be a beauty school in the area that gives inexpensive hair cuts. Start today! Do one thing. Life is too short...don't wait. Be the best you, you can be everyday. YOU ARE WORTH IT!!! emoticon Dee
    1677 days ago
    I would say that the first step is simply to write about what you are thinking and feeling. Then from there start with one or two small things you CAN and WILL actually change. They don't have to be BIG, even small changes make a difference. I am a firm proponent of the idea of looking a PROGRESS rather than perfection. Starting by recognizing when you do something RIGHT and focusing on the positives instead of forever criticizing and demanding more from myself. When I started, it was really easy to find LOTS of things I did WRONG - THAT didn't help. What helped was finding even the smallest things I did RIGHT. You mention the things like nails, hair, etc. - while you may not be able to afford new clothes or spend money, you could probably afford to give yourself a home manicure and pedicure (if you have trouble reaching your toes - I do often - maybe a friend would come over and you could make it a "girls" afternoon or evening and do them together). You may not be ready or even willing to give up your favorite treats, but you could look for ways to make them healthier. You may not be able to afford NEW clothes, but could browse the second-hand stores and find some inexpensive gently used clothes. The first steps are simply to start CARING and do SOMETHING (maybe not everything, but one or two things) about it.
    1677 days ago
  • KITT52
    learn to love yourself .....find your beauty ...then start slow, give yourself a lot of rewards for what you do to reach your's about being positive
    1677 days ago
    To me the first step is to admit that it happened like you have done right now. To look back and realise that this actually happened, I let myself go. I donĀ“t think it is necessary to know exactly why, but it helps. Sometimes it is very easy to see why - a traumatic experience, a big loss or something like that. But somtimes it is just a slow change coming from putting everyting else before oneself.

    I had that slow change for very long but I have also realised that losing a brast have made it "hopeless" I know that however well I tacke care of me today the body I had is forever lost. That is not really a hindrance to be attractive and pretty but I never really grieved over losing that breat as i maybe should have...

    Good luck!
    1677 days ago
    first you have to face why you lost yourself. that means, you will have to do lots of soul searching. it may have been one little thing that built up, it may have been many things pilling up. but until you face them, you won't move forward.
    1677 days ago
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