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An Important Look at My Habits


Friday, July 19, 2013

Acceptance of the way things actually are is the first step toward change according to many philosophers. So, I need to look at the situation I'm in at the current moment.

I didn't have a difficult night. I had less pain yesterday and I managed to fall sleep. I was still awake at 4:30 am, but I nodded off some time after that and slept until 9:30 am. So that was a good four to five hours on the couch. I did wake up with some pain due to my slumping posture on the couch. Then, I moved back to the bed and slept until 12:30 pm. I woke with a cough, so I have to assume I had apnea episodes during the night. But I am better rested than usual.

However, it is now 2:30 and I haven't eaten anything. I can't muster up the motivation/energy to get up from this chair. Worse, my sister is waiting for me to pick her up (her car is broken down) so I won't have time to fix my oatbran breakfast. Well, I might have decided not to do this post...but...I would have needed to go into the kitchen and lift pots and measure out ingredients. No energy for that. So, I am doing this as a stab at being motivated.

Probably I will pick up something like a dunkin' donuts biscuit sandwich as I head to my sister. And I will need a cream and sugar laced coffee to wake myself up enough to drive. Later I will have a sensible dinner, salmon and broccoli. It is easier to cook once I've moved around a bit. But I might also have something sweet to fend off exhaustion, again. Probably a very large bakery brownie. That will lead to reflux, which will effect my sleep.

I might nod off around 10:30 pm, but I will fend off sleep because my beloved won't be home until 12:30 am and I want to be there for him. He might not care if I go to sleep, because he understands my struggles. But this is the only time we get to share, because he is very regulated on his time when he wakes up at 1:00 pm. So, we do not generally have couple time except after his work. I should go to sleep by 2:30 am if I mean to get up by 10:00...and eat and exercise. But to do that, I have to eat foods that encourage sleep.

I wonder where to start on this journey to becoming a person who sleeps, eats, exercises, has more energy and enthusiasm to just live. Assuming I am never going to have less pain or be less exhausted, I still must motivate myself to eat properly and rest more.

While writing this all out is very embarrassing, I can already see some things I might try to change my patterns. I could eat my oatbran at night, which would help me avoid eating chocolate. I could take a nap at 10:30 pm. and then get up like they used to do in the middle ages to socialize. I could try to exercise in the morning before I try to cook, as that will help my stiffness. I could try only having toast or a smoothie for breakfast, so I didn't have to cook. Or maybe a protein bar and coffee. I could make very good coffee at home to avoid going to the bakery. Currently, I only have instant coffee at home. But a coffee machine is probably less expensive and might help stimulate me in the morning.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post:
CANDIK48 7/19/2013 4:03PM

    Fibro is an insidious disease and a huge challenge to overcome. My heart goes out to you in your struggles. Up until this week, my Beloved and I shared a schedule similar to yours. He would wait up for me to get home, then we would spend a few hours enjoying our time together and then get to sleep sometime around 2:30am. I jokingly refer to it as musician hours. (He is a musician so I think it qualifies!) He almost always dozes off in the recliner but that's okay. We're sharing space. I struggle with pain every day. Not quite as you do, (mine is a back injury), but pain is pain and it can wear you down. Forcing myself to get up and push through it is the best thing I can do for myself every day. It's not always easy and there has been many a frustrated tear shed. But I remind myself that I still have to get on with life and there may come a time when I can't do simple things so I push while I can.

Definitely get yourself a coffee maker and maybe even a coffee grinder! It pays for itself in no time. I get small quantities of different flavored beans and grind by the pot and I'll sometimes add things like cinnamon or other spices (mmm chai spices!) and chocolate in the grinder. I get a much better, more flavorful cup at home than I would ever get in any coffee shop. Plus it makes the house smell delicious! To make things easier on myself, I set it all up the night before and set the timer. You could also try getting some ready made (or make them yourself!) breakfast things that are easier to deal with. My local grocer carries some delightful (and sadly forbidden to me) healthier muffin choices including the oat bran and something with oats, carrots, raisins and nuts. And there's a brand of instant oatmeal, (Better Oats I think it's called), that has some amazingly delicious whole grain choices. Right now, my Beloved is working on one from the Better Oats organic raw line of multigrain and flax cereals called spiced plum.

I wish you better days ahead and success in your journey! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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CLOSETLIBRARIAN 7/19/2013 3:50PM

    New habits are hard, but it sounds like you have some good ideas on how to tackle it. I, like you, am worthless and lethargic first thing in the morning. Boiled eggs with salsa, toast with peanut butter (natural with no added sugar if you can find it), both easy easy things to get you a few quality calories. I could not live without chocolate. Having said that a square of Ghiradelli 86% cacao chocolate paired with a few (12) almonds and (10 grams) raisins totally satisfies the craving (yeah yeah, I'm OCD with the counting and weighing.)

Wishing you much luck. emoticon

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KNYAGENYA 7/19/2013 3:09PM

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