Thursday, July 18, 2013
For those of you who do not know me well,,,, I am Diane, who HAD been down in the 190s,,, and even at one point at 174. I am now at 218,,, with 8 of that being in the past 3 weeks.
Why is that? And why do I "say" this is "NOT ALL That bad"? I have many, many health probs,,, one with my feet. Even "did" face it being gone, but thankfully now instead it'll be taken care of by cutting the nerve to them ,,, the Left foot on Aug 6th for those of you who haven't heard the date. Also I have chronic back probs,, with 3 illnesses which cos an UNREAL amount of pain, often keeping me FLAT on my back !!! Even to lift my arms simply hurt to much. The putah time, I had been doing is now lower,,, THANKS Mary Ann (Squest) for taking the time to HOP on in on my place and do the figures for the "inbetween" challenge of the Spirited Under Dogs, of the 5% challenge were we do OUR BEST to lose 5% of our weight in 8 weeks. Right now we are as said" Inbetween" that challenge,,, but I am still active with the group ,, along with about 1/4 th of the team which wanted to continue til we "officially" start UP another 5% chal in a few weeks or less.
ALSO THANKS Dolly (Dollfacedx) for stepping on in, and coming UP with the challenges which I normally write up with ALL the teams suggestions, whereas we can do our own type of what we want to pick for the "Living The Good Life" challenge part of the normal 5% team challenge,,, without the competition of the 12 teams, we are having a BALL challenging OURSELVES !!!
Yet, here I sit, in so much pain, that I've asked the WONDERFUL Leaders they are (both new, and yet ON FIRE !! WOOHOOO What a chal ahead of us the Spirited Under Dawgs WILL BE !!! :) I am so APPRECIATIVE of ALL The new leaders for helping out, which also includes Cheri (Cheriridell) who is helping out with suggestions, and doing the weigh in list charts. THANKS Cheri ! She's recently been promoted to this position ! GOOOOO CHERI !!!
So here I am going UP on the scale,, and yet I am asking myself "is this ALL BAD"? No Its NOT !!! For when I am "inactive" the weight ALWAYS PILES ON and FAST !! Without the 5% chal and my NOT WANTING it to "the usual" which would be at a 15LB gain,,, I am GRATEFUL for being a DAWGGIE !!! Yes, I can EASILY Pack on 15 OR MORE lbs in a SHORT amount of time. Some of this is simply cos my legs are quite swollen,, some of it "I AM Responsible for with emotional eating". I had the CRAP scared out of me,, with my own foot Dr saying my foot needed to be amputated cos there's "nothing else I can do for you". That scared me SOOO BADLY as well as a recent dog bite,, which is making my left arm,, side,,, back,, neck hurt from not being used as normal. Its still so you can "feel" the bite easily with ur hand,,, and my left side of my own hand,,, is still "funky" ,, not back to itself yet,, I DO HAVE LOTS OF HOPE it will do so soon. Once the bite disappears,, I HOPE Any hows,,, right now, and this is the first I've been back on putah for over an hr,, and had been sleeping some,,,, that I've used my hand/arm. The bite happened on the 4th, today is the 18th. So 2 weeks ago, I am ANXIOUS for it JUST to HEAL !!! Even then with my back /arm being as they are,,, I'll start off without weights moving it as high as it'll go (shoulder level due to a stroke last yr,, THANKS ALL For that support duing that time !)
So how is my "overall " attitude,, I AM PROUD of myself. For without this challenge and ALL My friends on SPARK,,, I figure if I were to DROP OUT of the 5% (Sorry Orange team,, I felt I was DRAGGIN U DOWN !!!! That I can no longer keep up,,,,so I did drop out,, and wrote Nessa so she'd NOT have to figure out "who and what happened" GRRRR We DO NOT LIKE it when someone drops off a private team,, there's WORRY that goes with it,, and the hard work of going thru the team names,,and the rooster to figure out who it was,,, will they be OK?"
Why AM I PROUD you ask? I'd be around 325lbs EASILY without this support. EASILY !! I was w/ a "friend" the other day. I stopped to look at some COMFY Jammies,,, for with my surg coming in 2 weeks,,, I WANT to be comfy yet DECENT when others stop by (I am asking them NOT to,,,,for I need to get UP and hop into my power chair,,,and get over to the wall opposite of my bed,, to answer the buzzer and let them in,,, also I sleep A LOT and will MORE cos of the pain meds,,,, its HARD on me,, I HAVE though asked for phone calls. I DO NOT like many foods,,,so for anyone to "drop this off for you" doesn't work,, I am also highly allergic to MOST normal foods,,,, so yeah ! LOL. So with this friend,,, she and I were BOTH at 255 when someone I didn't know well looked at me and said "Oh I can't tell and so and so apart". That WIZZED ME OFF ! I ate MORE ,, this was in 2010,,,n got up to 288,,,, NO DOUBT without Sparks ,,, I['d be as is "my friend" who's now around 325. We both have the similar types of responses to food,, though we eat differently and she's ALWAYS urging me to "eat with me" even now when I DO NOT !!! So yeah,,,without the 5% and other Supportive friends,, which ALL of you are,,when you respond to my blogs, (THANKS ! I DO appreciate them ALL !) THANKS to ur commenbts,,,, and myself,, with my own good sense of self esteem,, I KNOW I am DOING QUITE WELL all in all.
I WILL SOON work (am starting to) on the "emotional eating". Tomorrow I start an intensive therapy program for up to 2 weeks if I need it that long,, than the surg is right behind it. :) I WANT to work on the eating,, and doing so at night when I get up,,,something I ONLY DO when extremely stressed. The moving around from place to place til I recently have my own,,, that seems IMPOSSIBLE to me,, that I AM NOW SAFE !!! Al did his damage for SURE and I DO NOT feel this "is mine and safe". The pain I am in,, the scare of the amputation,,, the dog bite. it's to much so my response is food, but THANKS It's_My_Turn_Now (Julee a former leader of the Dawggies ) for giving me the GOODIE of the art supplies,,, for now I am DYING to paint that pic I have on puter,,,,,, prob with water colors,, or maybe acrylics. I need to SOON make UP my mind,, I bought some photo paper to copy it out as high quality. THANKS Julee !! And I also have my new pencils for drawing,, ONLY THE BEST will do !! WOOHOO !!
So I can see I am NOW STARTING TO BREAK the emotional eating,, with being BUSY with this,, to build myself UP !!! I am also reading A LOT on SPARKS about it,, one suggestion is the above,, be busy with someone you LOVE !! I also want to read my book "The Spark solution" IF IT EVER Gets here ! LOLOLOL I m SURE it will either tomorrow or the next day.
So I am getting BACK to being good,, and well,, just IN TIME for ANOTHER 5% Chal,,, I 'll be OFF my feet TOTALLY ,, can't put it on the ground AT ALL,, even a tinee bit,,,, for 2 weeks,,, than slowly after that,,,, and left shoulder is in horrible pain,,,so my exercise will be low,,,but, I WILL do some. :) THANKS Wii !!! I'll use my good right arm. :)
See it's "NOT ALL BAD" in that I am gearing UP to work on this. In life we will ALWAYS have some set backs,, it depends on how you LOOK AT IT. I could sit here and be ALL Depressed over all of this,,or be PROACTIVE and NEED/WANT to conquer this. I'll be a DAWGGIE and TAKE care of it. 10% of life HAPPENS to you, 90 % IS ATTITUDE !!!
I WILL BE FINE in the end.
Thanks so much for reading this blog.