Thursday, July 18, 2013
I was reading back through my blog postings for 2013, all the way back to the first one on July 9th....only 4 days after I committed myself to losing this weight, eating healthier, and hopefully getting my diabetes into remission. I was so miserable during those first few days. I had horrible cravings for Mountain Dew and carbs and was suffering from withdrawal. I had almost forgotten how bad I felt during those first few days. Reading through those posts made me realize just how far I have really come since July 5th...my Mother's birthday. I am amazed by my progress. Those horrible cravings have lessened to the point that they are almost non-existent, I have lost 25 pounds, the withdrawal is gone, my joints no longer ache, and I can not only feel the progress in how my clothes fit, but I can feel the difference in my knees to the point that they are no longer hurting when I walk on the treadmill. Only 25 pounds has made a difference in how my knees feel!!! All of these small changes have added up to big changes in my weight and how I feel.
I am mostly doing this for myself because I want to be healthier, but I am also doing it for my mother. My mother was a type 1 diabetic from the age of 14. She always hoped that my sister and I would not develop this horrible disease that she lived with most of her life. I know she worried about me having diabetes. The last year of her life was one of the worst of her life and mine, but a true blessing for me in so many ways. I was never that close to my mother until she had her heart attack and stroke. She needed me and I was there for her every step of the way. I watched her try to fight her way back from a devastating stroke and struggle through infection after infection in her dialysis port. I went with her to her dialysis every Saturday for a year. I went with her to appointments, made sure she was getting the care she needed in the nursing home, and made her medical decisions for her, but mostly, I was just there, sitting with her, talking to her, and developing a closer relationship with her during that last year.
I lost my mother to Septicemia on January 31, 2013. Having grown up with a diabetic mother, I know first hand what this disease does to a person. Having been right there with her for the last year of her life, watching her struggle and suffer, I know what can happen. My mother did not want me to have to go through what she went through. I don't want me to go through that. Mostly, I don't want my children to someday have to go through what I went through with my mother the last year of her life. It was heartbreaking.
I keep reminding myself that if I don't want to end up like my mother...if I don't want my kids to someday be in the position I was in at the end of my mother's life...then I have to do something about it now....so I am. I am holding my mother and her lifelong struggle with diabetes as my inspiration to take care of this now. Unlike my mother, who was a type 1 diabetic, I, as a type 2 diabetic, have the power to make my disease go away and I intend to do just that!