Thursday, July 18, 2013
How's this for "unfair"?
(side bar: I deal with the "unfair" thing all the time when it comes to the weight loss thing. It's "unfair" that everyone else in the world can eat whatever they want and I can't, stuff like that--super annoying, let me tell you).
So I've started actively working to eat more protein and keep "carby carbs" to a minimum. Everyone's always touting the magical "fililng" effect of protein. I'm calling b.s.
This past week I've packed in the protein (hell, sometimes it's 43 grams just at breakfast!) and I've been more hungry than ever.
So far today I've eaten 800 calories (of my max 1750 ish) and my stomach is growling. That means I have true hunger (not just "want to eat"). Of those 800 calories I consumed, I had 55 grams of protein.
55 mother effing grams of protein!!
That's higher than the generic protein intake recommendation for women.
And yet, my stomach is growling. GROWLING!!
But mostly annoyed.
The more I think about it the more annoyed I get. Here I am trying to do all the Fatty Maths (how many calories? how much protein? all that b.s.) and I feel like it's all for naught because. . .
I'm effing hungry.
And I only have 900 calories left for the day. Oh, that sounds like a lot, right?
It will be gobbled up easily enough, unless I only want to eat a few leafy greens and drink water.
Yeah, yeah, I know there are plenty of options out there to make the most of my limited caloric resources (while maxing protein) but come on. How many freaking EGGS can one fat @ss eat?
Honestly, that's how I'm feeling right now. Like Fatty is only allowed to have hard cooked eggs because Fatty is a Fatty and it's all her own fault she's a Fatty because she has no self control and also can't do math properly (if I had the knack for numbers, I could micro manage every single nutrient and then I wouldn't be a Fatty anymore) and has no willpower.
Wait, Fatty can also have tuna fish because fish is skinny food, right? But Fatty doesn't like fish (except canned tuna) so it's her own fault she's a Fatty because she just won't change her Fatty palate and LEARN that only Fatty's enjoy eating.
For the record, I'm not bawling over this or anything like that. I'm pretty tongue in cheek with this rant, but really, it's how I feel.
Protein (like everything in the world, EVER) hates me because I'm a Fatty. A Dumb Fatty who's eventually going to realize she's the butt of some protein practical joke. "Look at Fatty as she has that kefir thinking it's the best protein. Oh, isn't that Dumb Fatty just so funny in her stupidity."
(not that I'm slamming kefir--I just discovered I really like it which surprised me because of my past yogurt issues)
See, this is what hunger does to you, folks. Makes you get all defensive and self deprecating and SNARKY.
Stupid protein. Why do you have to cost so much (calorie wise)?
*shakes Fatty Fist*
Well, I guess there's a silver lining. All that talk about hard boiled eggs and tuna fish has made me want a tuna sandwich.
Of course, Fatty wants to eat. That's all Fatties ever want to do, right?
Damn right that's what THIS Fatty wants.