Thursday, July 18, 2013
For the last 2 months, I've finally maintained my goal/ performance weight. The weight at which I feel the best and compete the best at. (That being said, I'd still like a 6 pack
Despite this, I still feel a lot of negativity. I get the "you're so skinny" "you're like a size zero" "I'm sure you've been naturally skinny all your life" "have you ever weighed over 90 pounds?" And it's the tone that spits negativity.
For one, I wear a size 7. My ass and legs are not fitting in a size zero and havent since I was like 10 years old. Yes I am thin, but I have an incredible amount of muscle too. I have not been naturally skinny all my life. I've been average most my life and at one point put on 20 pounds in two months. Until these last couple months, Ive had a dangerous relationship with food and disorders. And I haven't weighed 90 pounds or less since the 4th grade. My point is mean skinny comments are just as hurtful as fat comments.
That being said, yesterday at yoga class we were doing partner work. The instructor was showing my partner how to do the move and made the comment "it helps she only weighs an once"..then he went on to say "but she's super strong" It's a compliment that has sat with me all morning.
I want people to see me as strong and not "too skinny" because I'm not. I'm at a healthy weight for my height and I am happy, I feel great, and I no longer have this unhealthy relationship with food.