Wednesday, July 17, 2013
So, im not getting the loft. After a ton of unfortunate events, not all upon me at all, stuff happened, end of story. I went out today apartment shopping after many hours/days/nights of searching searching searching. Right price, right place, right room. Geez, so complicated. One that i like, Jon says is too cramped. One that I like thats $100 more for each of us a month, he isnt willing to spend the money on. But hey, thats life. Compromise. Thats where its at. After all, we are not in a rush, we still want to wait at least a month to make absolutely sure our finances are in order. I worry about credit checks tho. I have no credit, and he has a little. I hope renting helps with credit, but i doubt it does.
Im still over here slaving away at health. Working out 5 days a week, not too hard but hard enough to be dead sore now, but not enough to discourage me from thinking of hitting the gym one last time before i have to go to work. So determined now. I know I can do it, cuz it happened before.
I guess I could say the same about moving. I have been kinda worked up about it. No idea why, I have moved out on my own before no problem. However, I think this time it signifies something a little more mature, a little more grown up if you will. Its not a party pad, its a home/study/grow my relationship pad. I know my friends that find out will want to instantly come over and bless the place will alcohol and loud music, but that just doenst sound appealing to me anymore. At least for the moment. I have my times haha! Alot of my friends have been upset that "You are finally getting your life together and mine is falling apart." or my personal favorite so far, "Everyone is shocked, becuz we all thought you would always be the wild rocker chick, no one ever expected you to go to school for a legit career, get a job in the field, and move in with your boyfriend who you are serious with." Ok. Well. Lol.
After careful consideration and many sleepless nights, here's what I've decided. We move on, we move out, we move away from our families and form our own. But the basic insecurities, the basic fears and all those old wounds just grow up with us. And just when we think life and circumstance have forced us truly to become an adult, your mother says something like that. Or worse, something like that. We get bigger, we get taller, we get older. But, for the most part, we're still a bunch of kids, running around the playground, trying desperately to fit in.