Wednesday, July 17, 2013
Lots of stuff going on right now, but the big one is I'm feeling time management pressure. I treasure my unstructured time, and if there isn't enough I tend to rebel and take some of it in spite of any needs to stay focused and use time productively.
Getting enough sleep helps with that. But guess what's the first thing to get shorted when there are too many commitments?
Anyway, this week I'm feeling the added time commitments for taking care of myself and getting better. I got to the gym Monday. Tuesday I had physical therapy at 5:30 PM, and would have gone to the gym . . . but the lawn needed to be mowed. I got to bed by my target time, barely, and felt the short night this morning.
By evening, I didn't go to the gym. It wasn't that I was too sore, and it wasn't really my internal excuse of needing to pick up some critical groceries before Aldi closed; it was really my need for unstructured time so I didn't feel like I was just going all the time.
So I got my groceries, came home, and caught up on various blogs. Did the towel scrunch and marble pickup with my feet that the PTA recommended yesterday, so it's not like I did *nothing* today. And I had walked for 40 minutes (at 90° F with high for here humidity) at noon, so I got my 10K steps in. But those are excuses; it's really about the unstructured time.
Part of the reason for the unstructured time is to process what's going on. This week, I seem to have turned a corner in recovery. The feet are letting me walk for 40 minutes at an average pace of 15 mph. PT is starting to work on the feet in addition to strengthening the various muscles used for single leg balance. I was able to do a couple minutes light jogging in my hallway, though it's clear I'm not yet ready to do real running. I need some time to ponder this and come to terms with how much I can do, how much I should do, and how much I should rest. And the scale has started creeping down. I've nudged the calorie range back up one notch, and I'm thinking about nudging it up another notch.
So there's my week at midweek. If I'm going to get to the gym regularly, I need to find a way to make it feel less hurried or less crammed in. That might involve re-thinking how I shop for groceries; fresh produce has resulted in a lot more time making trips to the store than I spent when I was overweight. I might be able to make the shopping trips more efficient.
But, it's worth trying to find the balance. I like seeing the guy with abs in the mirror at the gym and then realizing it's me. I like being able to knock off 10 pullups to test how sturdy the pullup bar is. I really liked being able to run 5 miles, back when I could. And I really, really want to be able to run 5 miles again.
I'll get there. But first, I have to get through the current revolt against over commitment. And now, off to bed. Getting enough sleep should help.