Aaaaah Onderland. How I've missed you !
Last time I was here, it was 2008. I'd just discovered that I weighed 199lbs, and was horrified. I hired a trainer for a few weeks, with the intention of continuing on my own. The trainer was great, and the first few weeks on my own I did very well. I lost 22lbs total, getting to a historic 177 lbs. Unfortunately I wasn't doing it right, so it was doomed to fail. I did a lot of strength training, but I didn't change it up a lot. I was doing an hour of cardio 2 to 3 times a day, which simply wasn't sustainable for me. I watched what I ate, but I became quite lax about it. My resolve had started to wane.
The coup-de-grace came in February 2009. My friend was driving us to Toronto for the weekend. I'm not sure what happened but the cops said we must have driven over a patch of ice. The best way I can explain how it felt was that the car had suddenly "lost its' mind".
While my friend tried over and over again to wrangle the car, we got frighteningly close to being crushed by an 18-wheeler on our right. In a last ditch effort, my friend flipped the wheel all the way to the left, sending the car spinning off the freeway and into a ditch. The car was totalled but we were miraculously unharmed except for a mild case of whiplash. I'm grateful to God that nobody else got hit by our spinning car.
Everything felt surreal for a few weeks after that. I remember opening my eyes after the car had stopped spinning and being surprised that I was still in my body. The day after the accident, I walked around feeling like I shouldn't be here. I walked into a McDonald's and had a burger, telling myself defiantly - "I almost died. I'm having a burger !". Oh man. I guess it might have been ok then, but I had way too many burgers after that !
I saw chiropractor for the whiplash, and the sessions replaced my daily workouts at the gym. That was ok at the time, because I really wasn't myself for a bit. He made my neck all better, and he also took care of my pre-existing aches and pains. As an added, unexpected bonus, he was so unbelievably gorgeous that I would have gladly gone to physical therapy forever :)
I forgot all about my weight loss goals. I just focused on being alive. It was weeks before I felt like myself again. But even after that, my weight loss stopped being important. It stayed that way for way too long.
Now I'm back. And I'm alive. And I'm SO happy to be here. I care about my health, and I'm surrounded by others who feel the same way. I'm happy you're part of my journey, and I feel lucky to be a part of yours'.
It's good to be back !