Wednesday, July 17, 2013
Had a therapy session yesterday and talked about how tired I am from fighting myself every waking moment.
My therapist suggested to try compassion with this "thing" that causes me to want to snuggle up with a bucket of chicken and a cake (or any other binge-worthy food), instead of fighting it.
The first thing I have to do is accept that it's all me. This addiction or disorder or whatever it is, isn't an outside entity (as much as I feel like it is). It's not like some binge-eating demon invaded my body (although at times I could swear that's what happened).
It's all a part of me, and instead of wishing I could beat "it" senseless, maybe I can come at "it" with understanding and compassion? To recognize it, and then realize why it's here, and then use empathy and understanding and concern.
So, for today (at the very least), I'm going to try to apply a "Hugs, not gloves" approach. Taking off the boxing gloves, stepping out of the ring, and applying love and compassion and understanding to that part of me that screams out for food. It's worth a try.