15,000-19,999 SparkPoints 18,317


Wednesday, July 17, 2013

This morning I woke up and stepped on the scale and it hadn't moved. In fact I had gained the one and half pounds i had take a whole 2 weeks to loose. I'm just so angry and frustrated at my body for not cooperating. I don't get it. I'm working out twice a day for most days and I'm eating really healthy foods. i just don't get it. It feels like all I'm doing is in vain. It doesn't even matter because my body wont loose weight.

I've started to think that this is it. that Ill just have to settle with having back fat and ugly disgusting legs and wobbly arms. I just hate this. I hate that I still have 40 lbs to loose and that it seems like I cant do anything about them.

I was so angry about it i cant even stop crying. It sounds pathetic but its the reality. I have goals and I want to meet them and at this point it seems freaking impossible. I just seems like there's this big mountain of fat and no matter what I do I cant get rid of it. I want to be strong and brave and say its ok ill just keep trying but today i want to say F*** You Fat! Get the hell out of my life. I hate you! I hate that you make me feel ugly. I hate that you make my jeans look like they're too tight. I hate all the damn cellulite that shows when I'm wearing legging or thin pants. I hate that i have to review pictures to make sure my arms don't look like they're bat wings. I hate you fat! I hate you so much. I hate the day I met you. I hate that somehow you consumed my life and now you still find a way to mess it up. Just go away! Go away and never come back.

Right now it feels like the 80 lbs I've lost thus far are freaking useless if i can't loose the last 40. what good is it to be smaller if I'm still fat?! There just isn't a point. Yeah yeah yeah I've cut my health issues in half but that's not enough. I want to be healthy. I want to be at my healthy weight. I want to live a long time and at this rate I'm thinner than i was before and other say I look great but i feel like a fake and a phony because I'm still not healthy. I still am not at my ideal weight. I'm not even close.

It just sucks that the only answer is to keep trying. That I cant just go to sleep and wake up 10, 20, 30, 40 lbs thinner. that would be some dream.
Share This Post With Others
Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I have been there. I'm sorry you are having such a rough time. Two pound swings can be water weight or your body just adjusting. If this has been going on for a while, maybe you need to look at what you're doing & see if it is still the right program. It is true that as you get smaller your body does not require as many calories. So you may need to recalculate daily intake. Also if you are fitter, you may need to increase/change your exercise routine. I was able to decrease the time spent exercising by increasing my intensity level & that helped break a plateau. You will be able to lose the weight. Don't give up hope. You have done so much so far & you are beautiful. You will reach your goals. emoticon
    1551 days ago
  • MOM4407
    I know how you feel. Every morning I jog 6 miles. It takes me 1.5 hours. Then I come home and cut grass or trees or something else. I am eating right but like you I am not losing. What am I doing wrong???

    But I have to relax and tell myself I am better off then I was 1 yr ago. I have lost 10 since last year. I have lost a total of 60lbs.

    You said everything I feel.

    But remember we can do it.
    1552 days ago
  • GODIV4
    Thanks! It is taking me significantly longer to loose this last bit of weight. Im just not very patient and I want it off now. But youre right I just have to keep at it and eventually this body of mine will adjust. Its gotta! lol.
    1552 days ago
    oh my gosh, you must be kidding! I just looked at your pic, holy moly, you've lost a ton of weight and look fantastic! you do know that when you lose large amounts of weight, your body takes a long time (sometimes upwards of a year) to recalculate you metabolism, your hormones, etc.? This time, obviously, puts the kibosh on easily losing the last bit of weight you have to go! It will happen, it won't happen as quickly or evenly as the first part- you're smaller now and your body uses less calories and burns less calories. keep at it sister.
    1552 days ago
  • GODIV4
    i know i have to keep trying but today i just feel like its impossible. i have no cnoice but to keep moving forward. I can never go back to being who I was. Im just so impatient with the results.
    1552 days ago
    Don't buy into letting the scale ruin your day and frustrate you. We all know the woes of water gain/muscle, etc- we go up and down. Focus on your past progress and make sure you are taking those measurements. I am down 51 pounds and the scale isn't wiggling right now, but I know my workouts and eating is on track, so I too struggle with frustration, but we have to keep on going! :) emoticon
    1552 days ago
  • Add Your Comment to the Blog Post

    Log in to post a comment

    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.