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good news in mail but then my DD acts up

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Good Morning; The mailman brought a letter saying that the Army will pay DS about $400 a month until VA benefits kick in. It is a start. He is grateful for whatever he can get and survive. But now my DD is acting up, because while I was on vacation my DS tried to "commit suicide" from his deep depression. His GF called and I talked him down. In fact his puppy helped him wake up. When I got home, I have been working with him. He was not going to actually committed suicide - I know my son. It was a plea for help. I know my son enough if he wanted to actually kill himself he would have succeeded. In fact, I was talking to a counselor just yesterday about. I know if I could talk with him or text him I could talk him down.
I have done it before. He was in counseling and then something happened to his funding. He has filled out more paperwork for funding so hopefully it will kick in soon. He will then resume with his counselor. I told him that I would pay. He says I am not a charity case. My benefits need to pay.
But getting back to my DD, the GF send an email to my DD and got her all upset b/c she is over 500 miles away. She contacted me in Europe and I got in touch with DS. Now my DD wants me to tell DS not to come to the house when her daughter is in my care. This would make my DS feel like a monster. I feel it is a managed situation. My DS is actually ok now that we are back and his support system is here. He told me that he just did not want to get help. He was too depressed. I have talked to him on numerous occasions and he is fine and manageable. But when he was getting stupid letters from VA saying he has no medical benefits b/c he is making too much money or that his Vocational Rehab benefits would not activate b/c he is so injured that he can not work or go to school now. The plan that the Army set for him is falling apart. He felt worthless. I am a mother and DD must decide if she can trust her parents enough to make sure her daughter will be safe. She lives in an ideal world. But any mother who has a son with an combat injury and PTSD can understand. The sad part is that most people do not understand including family. I always say do not judge until you have walked in their shoes. emoticon

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    **SIGH** I would have done exactly the same thing that you did. Just don't know what to say about your DD, but I wouldn't have changed a thing about how you handled your DS. PTSD and depression definitely ARE serious and need to be managed. That requires understanding and patience .

    HUGS and I am wishing all the very best for your son. It is just beyond words sad the way our vets are treated. What can I say.
    1703 days ago
  • SUNSET09
    If you don’t know it, you won’t know! I’m deployed in the Afghan as a civilian and have worked very close with the Wounded Warrior Project. Although some my not have visible wounds do not mean they are not suffering and reliving their ordeal. It is a very delicate situation which they are no always in control of. I will not pass the blame on anyone as I know, people who have falsified their conditions and are getting paid by the VA. I just pray that your son gets the help he deserves and need. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1703 days ago
    So many are going through this and, sadly, the general population doesn't understand.
    1704 days ago
    The government doesn't help those with PTSD enough. These people actually fought in combat for this country, it is so wrong not to help them!

    Big emoticon
    1704 days ago
    OMG. I hope he gets his counseling going again. Prayer and hugs for everyone. Please take care of yourself, so that you can help everyone else.

    1704 days ago
    With my family's experiences from the VN war and the Afghanistan, and ARMY and consequent VA dealings I TOTALLY GET what you are talking about. PTSD is no joke. Neither is depression.
    So good that you are supporting DS. DD surely will figure out that you are a responsible adult and trust you. Hope so anyhow. They say suicide is a cry for help, I believe that. . . .
    I really hope DS doesn't fall through the VA "crack", I hope he get's the help and funding he needs to get healthy again. ARMY can ruin a person's mind. It nearly did mine, and I was only married to an ARMY guy!!
    Wishing your family the best!!
    1704 days ago
    emoticon emoticon
    1704 days ago
  • AUNTB63
    1704 days ago
    1704 days ago
    Most people think depression (ie PTSD) is a switch you can flip and snap out of it. It is sad cause that attitude usually only makes it worse!!!
    Hope your DS gets his help soon
    1704 days ago
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