Tuesday, July 16, 2013
I'm struggling a LOT since I came home. The weight is coming off, which I'm happy about, I've actually recovered from the gain of those two months off plan already, as far as weight loss is concerned. Most of which has been accomplished by eating one real meal a day. Because I'm struggling to have an appetite and having real issues finding ANYTHING appealing, and it's net even that I want all the wrong stuff or whatever, I just can't be bothered to figure out and then fix and then actually take the time to actually EAT anything. And that's not good.
I'm also not sleeping properly. Even with meds, it takes me two hours to actually FALL ASLEEP and then every little thing is waking me up all the time, the restless legs have been particularly bad lately.
My hubby has been working from home a lot lately, and there are aspects to that that I enjoy. But his job has been very busy and frustrating lately, so he's projecting all this "angry energy" all over the house and I can't relax.
So every few days I get sick of my own company so I get out of the house for awhile, but then I can't keep my act together when I'm out on my own either, I'm either snapping at stupid people for ignoring their children who are screaming/tearing around the store/generally causing mayhem (I mean really, WHAT THE HECK IS UP WITH THAT!? I have kids and I NEVER let them be so disruptive of other people! Never!) or I'll be just fine wandering along some aisle in Costco or whatever until I realize that I'm sobbing.
And SOMETHING is going on with my vision, so I have an appointment with a new eye Dr on Friday (our insurance changed when I lost my job back in May, so now I need to find a new eye doc, at least I can keep my regular doc and the weightloss doc!) but lately I've noticed that I need reading glasses for EVERYTHING that is within five feet of my face. So that's a struggle too.
I'd really much rather just be ok. I'd really just prefer that. This last six months of working and dad's death and all the drama with his estate and everything just feels like it happened to somebody else, because I'm back to sitting on the sofa addicted to FaceBook and Pinterest and playing the Sims and wondering what day it is. This is SO weird, I really HATE living in my head like this.