Tuesday, July 16, 2013
I just realized it's been nearly a month since I wrote a blog. So I guess it's time.
I've been laying low and quiet. I have both good days and bad days--I'm told that's to be expected. I'm happy that the good days are beginning to outnumber the bad days. I have surpassed medical expectations for my walking--Jasper and I walked 8.8 miles on Friday. experiencing here. I find my number one weapon against sadness is a good walk with Jasper. When I feel strong, I throw in a short jogging interval, but not often. But my therapist continues to be impressed with my dedication and work ethic.
I'm also working on learning to nurture myself, like I would a friend who is suffering. Instead of beating myself up for not being able to do something or needing to rest, I'm trying to be patient and kind with myself. The hard part with that is the half marathon in October. I just keep wishing I had never registered for it. I know I never could have imagined this huge setback happening, but I still will feel like a failure if I can't do it. I feel pretty confident that I can at a minimum walk it, but I almost feel like that is a cop out.
With the events of the last month, I feel like I've lost touch with many people here, and that makes me sad. But I also realize that to have friends, I need to be a friend; and I've been a lousy friend.
I guess my message is that I'm trying. I'm enjoying spending time with my wonderful hubby and, of course, Jasper keeps me laughing. And I'm finding working in my garden provides the peace I really need right now. But I am still here, and I am slowly returning.