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    WINDSONG26   103,726
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More Advice Needed. Badly

Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Right now I'm trying to decide if there's even going to be a wedding. Don't worry, my fiancÚ and I are fine. We're great. It's family drama that's ruining everything. My mom and uncle are fighting and so are my brothers with him. Not to mention, my fiance's family hates mine. So if I go through with the wedding, there's going to be fighting and drama. If I decide to scrap the wedding because I don't want what's supposed to be the happiest day of my life ruined by everybody fighting, then it's just going to drive a wedge in even further between everybody and create more drama that way. So, I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't. I don't know what to do at this point. But I am so sick of it. I love my mom and uncle to death. I really do. But they have never grown up. Neither of them understand that there is more to the world than just them and their problems and that their words and actions affect way more than just them. It affects absolutely everybody. And I'm stuck in the middle of their s***. The best day of my life is being absolutely obliterated at this point. I don't know what to do.
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KIMBOLEENA1974 7/17/2013 9:15AM

    There is something very beautiful and romantic about eloping as well. In hindsight, my husband and I wish we had done that instead of our wedding (we had family issues too).

Hugs!

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SUSANBEAMON 7/17/2013 2:10AM

  plan your wedding as if these people aren't being stupid. if they come to you with some demand they want stuck in your wedding, tel them how much cash their demand will cost them and that you won't include it until you have money in hand. you will be surprised how quickly those demands will go away. hire security and let everybody know troublemaking will result in the troublemakers going home. your partner will have to tell his family the same things. be strong and things should settle down.

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KOFFEENUT 7/16/2013 7:13PM

    I totally agree with HMAZIS - word for word. You and your fiance decide what YOU want. If it involves the families, sit down and let them know your expectations. If they can't respect your expectations on their behavior at the wedding, ask them to respect you enough to not attend. This is a special day for you and your fiance and you are not obligated to deal with anyone else's drama.

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HOLLYM48 7/16/2013 5:07PM

    It is your wedding day and you need to decide what YOU want, not what they want. Make it special and if that means just the 2 of you taking the vows together, so be it. Don't let family guilt you into something you will not enjoy. This should be a decision between you and your husband to be. Good luck.

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DIANE7786 7/16/2013 4:59PM

    emoticon I read some of your previous blogs. Weddings are stressful under ideal circumstances and you're already stressed from work, family drama and possible pregnancy. Stress and other medical conditions can cause the symptoms you mentioned. You might consider a private ceremony in a nice area that is special to you and your fiance--maybe a park. Just you, your fiance and justice of the peace. Use the money you would have spent on a wedding for a honeymoon where you can relax. Be strong! If a few people guilt you into inviting them, others will be insulted. Later you might have a family party where drama won't be as much of an issue. Good luck!

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MIRMIUM 7/16/2013 4:53PM

    Honestly, weddings really do bring people together. You may find that some of the fighting calms right down once everybody focuses on how great it is that the two of you are committing your lives to each other. Okay well, maybe not your fiance's family if they dislike your family but that is their problem.

So long as everyone is invited, it will be their call to show up, behave, share that wonderful day with you or let their bitterness overcome them and not attend.

I just had some family drama with my brother's wedding where he almost kicked me out of the wedding party for a really ridiculous and unrelated to the wedding reason BUT that is my brother and he is getting married. I am putting it behind me because I love him. Maybe your family members will be able to put some of their fighting aside for you too.

:)

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PROPMAN1 7/16/2013 2:50PM

  First of all: IT'S YOUR DAY! A once in a lifetime (hopefully) experience. Know you love them but...you need to sit them down and say what's on your mind and in your heart. Can guess that you don't want to hurt/upset them but...you are probably going to have to. They're doing it to you. DO NOT THROW AWAY YOUR WEDDING DAY! You'll regret it forever. Know this is hard but...you deserve better! emoticon and emoticon . Good Luck. Hope it works out.

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